One week after joining

One week after joining
H

heart

Registrant
I joined this site just over a week ago and last night I woke up screaming which had not happened for a long time. I had my usual abuse nightmare and I was not very surprised. I was kind of waiting for it to come up as I have read a lot of things on the message boards that I have experienced and can relate to.

I have not done any therapy or work on my abuse for the past year and a half and I remember when I had one to one therapy I used to wake up screaming quite regularly. I did learn during that time to accept these night terrors and look at them as a tool to recover and unravel stuff. Still they're not nice!! but strangely enough I am also glad it's happened as I look at it as a sign that something needs to or is coming out. (I am about to start another spell of therapy next month).

So last night I was able to fully wake up, switch the light on and give myself a pet talk. I actually feel ok today and even feel that this is a positive sign of the power of this site. My needs to be able to talk about my abuse can come up at all sorts of times so having this board is brilliant and reading about others normalizes some of the scary feelings and emotions I have.

Heart
 
Welcome Heart.

I too am new here. It's a great group of guys.

Dave
 
Welcome Heart,

You have opened your mind to healing and your mind is accepting the inventation. You will do good.

Keep up the spirit and effort. Above all, don't forget to do some things that are special to you. Avoid overload.

Take care,
Bill
 
Heart / Dave

I think we all go through a period of "it gets worse before it gets better" when we're fairly new to our healing.
And nobody expects it, I certainly didn't.

But if we think about it it's probably inevitable?
For maybe the first time in our lives we're thinking about our abuse differently, and very intensly.
Perhaps we need to chill sometimes and ease off?
For the last ten years I've competed in off-road motorsport, and even when my head was so full of "stuff" I wondered if it would contain it all, I made sure that I carried on with my hobby, one day a month it cleared my mind.
I firmly believe that we need something to ground us through these difficult times.

The night terrors, well a good friend of mine suffered from very bad terrors for over 20 years, and found relief from hypnotherapy.
And she was as skeptical as I was about it, but she's been free for 3 years now. The same guy has stopped her smoking as well, maybe there's something in it after all?

Dave
 
Hi Heart

I too had a few bad dreams last night - I know it was triggered by my grandmothers discussion with her friend last night at dinner - still does'nt make it feel any better though...

I have been told that the dreams are our inner mind trying to sort things out and make sense of the past - so in that it kind of makes the bad dreams a good sign that we are indeed heading the right direction in our healing journeys

Take care,

TJ
 
Heart,

Since you have been thinking consciously about your abuse and using this web site as a tool for your concentration, you have engaged deeper parts of you mind in the process. You are right, it is a positive sign. Eventually you can learn to eliminate these night terrors completely. The way you handled last night was the right way to start. Look at the dreams with an open mind and give yourself that pep talk. You are doing good!

Last night I dreamed that I was a fat old lesbian. I was naked in my backyard when a leather clad biker (Hells Angeles type) started chasing me around. I was so embarrassed and afraid that I went blind. Then I woke up. I sat up in bed and all I could do was chuckle.

Some people might think that dream was a nightmare. To me it was just a weird dream created by some strange subconscious belch. Could have been the green onions I had for supper.

I am not trying to make light of your bad dreams. What I am saying is that you can deal with it and even learn to find some humor in the things your dreams can tell you.

I have some cool things that I have learned about dreams and the whole dreaming process that I would be glad to share with you if you are ever interested.

Welcome to the group!

Aden
 
Aden
that's a cool dream ! :D :D who needs psychadelic drugs with dreams like that!

Dave
 
Heart

glad to see you, "Welcome"
Think the dreams are a release, just as much as anything else we do.

Lloydy,

I ride a high power motor bike, it takes a lot of skill to ride a bike, and even after all the years riding them, I still feel a thrill, but I hone my thoughts riding it, probably the best thing to keep my mind off problems.

I also use celtic music, etc., to chill out at night, music really does it for me

Peace

ste
 
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