one step forward and 2 steps back (triggers)

[healing_inside]

Nyjah,

No need to apologize. Read your post last night, but I had no words to offer to U. What u did I have never done, thought about it though.

Felt real bad that u did what u did because of the anger and stress u had inside of U and no other outlet at the time.

Glad u are going to see your T today, gonna be hard, but hopefully the T can work with u about finding other ways to get that stuff out of your system.

Thanks 4 sharing, know it was hard to say this stuff, but i am glad u did.

Healing_Inside

 

[TJ jeff]

Nyjah,

No appologies needed - what is done is done - many of us here have done it - we just need to find other ways to cope - ways that don't hurt our bodies - Please do talk in T today about what happened last night - I fully understand how scarey it is - but they need to know to be able to help you better...

Tj jeff

 

[roadrunner]

Nyjah,

You haven't let anyone down here and no apologies are needed. I am glad you posted about this, but only because it shows that you realize that this is something that you need to talk about with your T.

You haven't "failed" anyone, not any of us and not yourself. The problem that has brought us all here has led most and maybe even all of us to get into things that aren't good for us. We all know the list: porn, destructive relationships, cutting, running away, drugs, alcohol, and so on. Sometimes our problems are overwhelming and we just can't cope without resorting to these things. We know we need to work on them, but it takes time and it is often difficult.

Your T will ask questions, but just in order to help you, not to scold you or make you feel bad. Just the fact that you thought about cutting as a problem and posted about it twice in one night shows that you are already starting to deal with this.

Take care,
Larry

 

[demonboi]

Thanks everyone.

 

[Kirk Wayne]

Nyja

As has been said " No appologies needed. If things get to that point for me I feel the need to burn myself, the last occasion was a few months ago when my wife called Lloydy on the phone to come and talk me down.

I had two choices at that time to not burn and go a buy a bottle of vodka after being sober for ten years. I chose burning the lesser of the two evils, but nonetheless it is still and evil. I started getting help with my anger and internalsing it five weeks ago. I go to anger management once a week. Certainly made me think

Kirk
"Instigate change, as it appears it wont come naturally in our cause. Sometimes it needs a little forcing".

 

[ForeverFighting]

I've been there. Sometimes it gets so bad that it's like I'm driven, like I don't have a choice as to what I will do. I used to cut a lot. Now I act out in other ways. It's just that the pressure from inside is so powerful that it takes something more powerful to distract us from it.

I've found the secret is to talk lots. Let all the horrible feelings out. And if I can't make sense of the feelings--like you say, the skin crawling and all that--then I just talk about that, call somebody, or write about it here. It's emotions gushing out from inside, and cutting or all the other stuff we do just puts a cork on it for a little while. Better to let it out all the time as much as we can. The more we say, "Wow, I hurt so bad inside" and see how much people care about us, the less we feel the need to stop the pain with cutting.

Don't feel too bad about what happened. We all do it. We just get back up and try again, hopefully for just as long or even longer this time. Remember, you don't deserve to be hurt. You never deserved to hurt. Keep the anger outside at the people who deserve it.

Take care of yourself, OK? And keep writing, because I'm listening.

 

[Leosha]

Nyjah,

always, it is you first to fear of letting down. You can make promises to people, and worry of how your actions will affect some other people. However, you are the one you let down more then anyone. Just as I let myself down, and each of us here is responsible first and foremost for ourself.

One of the most dangerous things about cutting is that it can bring about a calm or better feeling, because it can release endorphins. But also, it is almost like drug, where you need to take more to get the same feeling, or the same high. With cutting, you will feel the need to cut deeper, or more, to get the same release feeling. Please do try to make a different choice if you can, because at some point you could seriously harm yourself without even intending to.

Take good care.

Leosha