One step back - two steps forward.

One step back - two steps forward.
Rick, what a brave journey!

I went back to my home town a couple of years ago, before I was dealing with this again, and yet made definite note of the changes that were so evident.

The school (site of the physical and psychological abuse) has been expanded to the point that what was there years ago has been virtually swallowed up by the additions.

The barren canal lands (site of the sexual abuse) are now beautifully groomed parks with paved, well traveled bicycle paths and, I would guess, regular patrols by police or security guards. I only saw it all from a bridge but it was clear, from what little I did see that things had been cleaned up a lot. (There is even a web site for the park system it is now part of!)

Reading of your journey, Rick, makes me want to go back to those places one day again - this time with a camera. It is clear that both the school and the canal lands have endured through the years surviving better, physically at least, than I have.

Kenn
 
Thanks again for the positive comments.

I am now hoping that this winter we actually get some real snow one weekend (got it last year when I was at my lowest ebb on New Years Eve).

I have this idea in my head that I can wake up early one morning, see the fresh snow & walk back along there. I want to make the first footprints in that snow all along the route...just like no one had ever walked there before.... that thought is a really good one. I hope it happens - sorry anyone that doesn't like snow!

Best wishes ..Rik
It's been a long voyage, but I think I am returning to the harbour - sails are a bit tatty, but they still work!
 
Rik,

I think there is nothing more serene and peaceful then fresh snow, like it has coated everything with a new 'clean' feel. Just remember, don't eat the yellow snow! ;)

leosha
 
I'm new here and just read this whole thread. As you were telling your story about the beautiful scenery I was thinking about the places I was abused for two years. I'm from the Bay Area Californina and grew up with the redwood forests. I pictured myself there--only as a child again before I was in sixth grade.

I just may go visit my dad in the mountains and take my own walk. Thank you for the beautiful posts.
 
Rik,

I am glad you had the nerve to go back there, you describe it like as if you were the little boy again, feeling, seeing, smelling and touching the beauty that should have been.

I only yesterday passed a gang of boys on their bikes they were riding towards me, I know them as they live on my estate, and they had a big bag of conkers, and the last boy was holding them to show me the prize. They all had beaming smiles.

Today I saw them play all day having conker fights, it truly is a joy to see, and remember these things never die, hey what happened to marbles? And hopscotch?

I walked with you in your story, a true story always strikes a chord in me, as I can be that little boy, winter snows, I was thinking and talking to people who have kids, last year, and I said to one woman, I bet your kids have never seen real snow. As a kid I just loved to be in the snow, going out and playing, mother saying, hey what about your coat, oh forget the coat, I can have more fun without it.

After playing all day in the stuff, freezing almost hypothermic, numb hands and feet, I would finally go home, go to bed, and wake up. The first thing I would do, is see if the snowman is still there, or has he melted?

thanks for sharing the beauty, I truly am so sorry for how it turned out so bad, but out of the bad, you are a good man, and one to be a friend,

ste
 
Thought I'd bring this to the top again, mainly for the newer people here.

I also didn't realise how long it was since I last commented on this post! Now that the court case is over, maybe I should pay another visit along there!

Best wishes ...Rik
 
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