One possibly abuse, one definitely abuse, both ***possible triggers***

DrDave

Registrant
Crap I thought I posted but maybe it didn't work.... Ok I'll try again.

I'm not sure if the first one qualifies as abuse or not because it was helpful.

On one of the various times my aunt was babysitting me, I wasn't feeling very well. I was having cramps and was in pain from being constipated. My aunt took me to the bathroom, had me undress and sit on the toilet. She took off her blouse to keep it clean and knelt down between my legs. She wasn't wearing a bra. She had me lick, and suck on her finger to get it coated with saliva, and then slipped her finger inside my anus. She worked it around, massaging the muscles inside to relax them, and in about 5 minutes I had a bowel movement. She cured my constipation. Now when I'm constipated, I still use this method to this day. This is probably one of the nicer things she's done to me.

As opposed to the time I was punished for trying to resisting her. I quickly learned to stay on my aunts good side. I only resisted once.... Once was enough. As punishment she took me to the bathroom, stripped me naked and had me stand in the bathtub. She turned on the water, got the small bar of soap wet, and put it up my butt, and held it there with her hand. While holding it in place she made me "march in place" for maybe about 3 minutes. Afterwards she took the soap out, tossed it in the waste basket, washed her hands and left the bathroom. I had diarrhea all afternoon as punishment.
 
Well @DrDave, we often judge what is abusive by the overall effects an action had on us.

Would you do it to your own child?
Does this commonly happen to children?
Would people you tell the story to react with horror or revulsion?
Are you ashamed of it?

I'd say any action you answered no, no, yes, yes to is definitely abuse.
 

DrDave

Registrant
Ok.... You're right, I would definitely NOT do it myself to another child. So ok.... Both are abuse. That's a good way of looking at it.
 

orlando-jen

Registrant
Hearing that story there isn't a sliver of doubt in my mind that it was sexual abuse. It's a really common thing especially for women who sexually abuse children to pass the abuse off as care. My mom raped me with her finger under the pretense of administering a repository when I was a teenage. I realized it was sexual abuse immediately, and but then repressed that knowledge again until recently at about 30. And when I realized what that actually was, it hit me pretty hard. And now it feels obvious. But I felt so much confusion about it at the time.

I also like to think about these incidents in the context of what she did overall. If there's something that feels like it might have been abuse knowing that she definitely sexually abused you at other times might be helpful to feel more certain.
 
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