One of my perps just died
Hauser
Registrant
The irony of all. My older brother Rick, who's perp "friend" helped make my adult life a mess, came over the other night and feigned a desire to simply come over and hang out.
As the night went on, I isolated myself at my hobbies and this computer, then Rick finally broke the ice and said that Mom and her talked about me and my recent disclosure.
We eneded up talking about our family and lives for like 5 hours.
In the course of our discussions, a neighborhood friend of mine from childhood was mentioned by me as one of my reasons that I clamed up and remained silent all these years. (He made fun of me when I trusted and told him, I was 9 and he was 12).
A couple of years later, that same "friend" ended up tearing my clothes off and molesting me twice, and what was worse about being perped by him was that when it happened, I was starting to come of age and I "responded". He used my natural reactions as an excuse for what he did, he said "See, I knew you would like it, etc."
His name was David, and he helped launch my teen and adult life of sexual confusion, and it helped cripple me with low self-repect, no self-confidence, and a lifetime of personal and career failures.
As the years went by I had come to realize that he was OBVIOUSLY abused himself, I had forgiven him a LONG time ago already. Over the years, David was in trouble with the law and doing drugs etc.
About 5 or 6 years ago, I ran across David again while walking my dog. We talked about old times, he was married and with his wife, we talked and talked on the bike path and it was cool to talk to an old friend that part of me missed and part of me should hate but I can't becuase I had already forgiven him.
Well, the very next day after mentioning him to my brother in our 5hr long conversation, I read that David died at his house, no explanation, funeral this Sat.
I'm venturing an educatated guess that he killed himself. I'll tell you guys for sure when I go to the funeral this Sat.
But, I hope that even though I never TOLD David that I forgave him, I hope he does know that now and that he has peace in his heart knowing that now, and I think he died knowing that because of our long and pleasant conversation on the bike path 6 years ago. He could tell I didn't hate him and I'm glad we were able to talk one last time before he left this world.
As the night went on, I isolated myself at my hobbies and this computer, then Rick finally broke the ice and said that Mom and her talked about me and my recent disclosure.
We eneded up talking about our family and lives for like 5 hours.
In the course of our discussions, a neighborhood friend of mine from childhood was mentioned by me as one of my reasons that I clamed up and remained silent all these years. (He made fun of me when I trusted and told him, I was 9 and he was 12).
A couple of years later, that same "friend" ended up tearing my clothes off and molesting me twice, and what was worse about being perped by him was that when it happened, I was starting to come of age and I "responded". He used my natural reactions as an excuse for what he did, he said "See, I knew you would like it, etc."
His name was David, and he helped launch my teen and adult life of sexual confusion, and it helped cripple me with low self-repect, no self-confidence, and a lifetime of personal and career failures.
As the years went by I had come to realize that he was OBVIOUSLY abused himself, I had forgiven him a LONG time ago already. Over the years, David was in trouble with the law and doing drugs etc.
About 5 or 6 years ago, I ran across David again while walking my dog. We talked about old times, he was married and with his wife, we talked and talked on the bike path and it was cool to talk to an old friend that part of me missed and part of me should hate but I can't becuase I had already forgiven him.
Well, the very next day after mentioning him to my brother in our 5hr long conversation, I read that David died at his house, no explanation, funeral this Sat.
I'm venturing an educatated guess that he killed himself. I'll tell you guys for sure when I go to the funeral this Sat.
But, I hope that even though I never TOLD David that I forgave him, I hope he does know that now and that he has peace in his heart knowing that now, and I think he died knowing that because of our long and pleasant conversation on the bike path 6 years ago. He could tell I didn't hate him and I'm glad we were able to talk one last time before he left this world.