Mark, your comment about living life and not just passing through it, rings all to true for me. I usually say that I think life is happening to me, but I am not directing it as well as I know that I can.
I can give some really good talks on how to live your life with a decent amount of serenity and sense of direction, rejoicing that we can determine who we want to be. Most days, I do not practice it though. That is when I forget that I have lots of control of things, but I choose to sit back and watch what is going to happen. For me, that is rather maddening.
Bob