I believe I was about eleven when it started and my abuser was 14 but he was above his years and stronger . He worked out road a motorcycle. I was very naive. He invited me for a sleepover and conviniently had a door going directly outside from his bedroom. He cohersed me when lights would go out and grab me by the neck that was the start of my hell because the hardest thing to wrap my head around was just going along with it many more times and not stopping it . I can even remember expecting it when he was not that’s so messed up . I used to tell myself I wanna die when it was happening I would try and think of other things. To this day I still will just cry at any given time for no reason.