"Once Upon A Time" "Lost" "Star Wars" (My Church Testimony)

Intro... My faith is very important to me and has helped me in indescribable ways through my healing journey. During a recent study on discipleship, we were each encouraged to write a testimony (our story) within a certain set of guidelines (600 words maximum, catchy intro that draws in the audience, focus on the change within you - not the "salacious details" of your past, etc.) I feel led to share that here. Hope it is helpful.

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Once upon a time.


Lost.


Star Wars.

These are stories with fascinating characters. What makes the characters even more interesting is their back stories: Where they came from, who their families were. When I first became a Christian, I would be asked to give my testimony. I felt mine was pretty boring. I was always a pretty good kid. Didn't get in trouble much. Pretty boring life. As I got older, God started to reveal in different ways my own back story. It isn't so boring anymore.

It turns out, my mother never wanted children. She had a bad experience with her own mother and did not want to be responsible for other children. My father insisted. So they had 3 children: 2 girls and a boy. I was the youngest. Unknown to my mother, he was a pedophile.

Once we got old enough where he lost interest, he left us. I had no father figure and a lot of mess. I tried to be the good kid, making things easier on my mom. Inside, I was a mess - but I didn't understand why. Blocking out the abuse, I didn't understand why I had a hard time making friends -- a hard time trusting -- especially guys. As I got older, my mom remarried: a guy who also didn't want children. More rejection. As I became a teenager, I had all kinds of conflicting feelings inside. Feelings that, in today's society, they would want me to embrace -- to celebrate, but God had other plans for me.

My family never went to church - ever. My grandparents were very religious, from a legalistic church. They sometimes brought us kids to Sunday School when we were little. They talked about "God the Father" -- that concept was foreign to me, but I believed in God. As I entered high school, I got involved in a church youth group. I felt love and belonging. I wanted more. The pastor would give altar calls. I would listen, but I wasn't ready - I just didn't understand. The summer before my senior year I attended their summer youth retreat. The speaker talked about the pain and suffering Jesus went through on the cross - he did that for each of us - even for me. Subconsciously, I could really relate to the pain and suffering. That touched my heart. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

As I grew into manhood, God continued to teach me. As I got older, those confused feelings got worse, but Father God was there, guiding me through it: Revealing bit by bit the causes so I could receive healing. In the process, I got married and had 2 wonderful children. God used that, too. Every time I would discipline or show love to my children, Father God would remind me - That is how I am with you.

In First Corinthians, Paul writes:
Don't you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin... worship idols... commit adultery... are male prostitutes... practice homosexuality... are thieves... greedy people... drunkards... are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.

Paul doesn't leave it there, he offers hope:

Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

God doesn't make mistakes. He always had a plan in mind for me and my life despite my back story, and often because of it.
 

Hoping

Registrant
Intro... My faith is very important to me and has helped me in indescribable ways through my healing journey. During a recent study on discipleship, we were each encouraged to write a testimony (our story) within a certain set of guidelines (600 words maximum, catchy intro that draws in the audience, focus on the change within you - not the "salacious details" of your past, etc.) I feel led to share that here. Hope it is helpful.

*


Once upon a time.


Lost.


Star Wars.

These are stories with fascinating characters. What makes the characters even more interesting is their back stories: Where they came from, who their families were. When I first became a Christian, I would be asked to give my testimony. I felt mine was pretty boring. I was always a pretty good kid. Didn't get in trouble much. Pretty boring life. As I got older, God started to reveal in different ways my own back story. It isn't so boring anymore.

It turns out, my mother never wanted children. She had a bad experience with her own mother and did not want to be responsible for other children. My father insisted. So they had 3 children: 2 girls and a boy. I was the youngest. Unknown to my mother, he was a pedophile.

Once we got old enough where he lost interest, he left us. I had no father figure and a lot of mess. I tried to be the good kid, making things easier on my mom. Inside, I was a mess - but I didn't understand why. Blocking out the abuse, I didn't understand why I had a hard time making friends -- a hard time trusting -- especially guys. As I got older, my mom remarried: a guy who also didn't want children. More rejection. As I became a teenager, I had all kinds of conflicting feelings inside. Feelings that, in today's society, they would want me to embrace -- to celebrate, but God had other plans for me.

My family never went to church - ever. My grandparents were very religious, from a legalistic church. They sometimes brought us kids to Sunday School when we were little. They talked about "God the Father" -- that concept was foreign to me, but I believed in God. As I entered high school, I got involved in a church youth group. I felt love and belonging. I wanted more. The pastor would give altar calls. I would listen, but I wasn't ready - I just didn't understand. The summer before my senior year I attended their summer youth retreat. The speaker talked about the pain and suffering Jesus went through on the cross - he did that for each of us - even for me. Subconsciously, I could really relate to the pain and suffering. That touched my heart. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

As I grew into manhood, God continued to teach me. As I got older, those confused feelings got worse, but Father God was there, guiding me through it: Revealing bit by bit the causes so I could receive healing. In the process, I got married and had 2 wonderful children. God used that, too. Every time I would discipline or show love to my children, Father God would remind me - That is how I am with you.

In First Corinthians, Paul writes:
Don't you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin... worship idols... commit adultery... are male prostitutes... practice homosexuality... are thieves... greedy people... drunkards... are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.

Paul doesn't leave it there, he offers hope:

Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

God doesn't make mistakes. He always had a plan in mind for me and my life despite my back story, and often because of it.
Thanks for sharing this. I am now trying to work through this insanity of dealing with SSA and my Christian beliefs. Just befor Leaving Neverland I had decided to begin working on my SSA and plaid for guidance. Then that documentary appeared. You see I just watched my wife of 45 years pass and still dealing with that pain. I used my SSA (viewing porn) as a comfortable coping mechanism. Wrong path. So now have contacted 2 T’s to interview and to work out why my youth sexual abuse led me to be SSA. Please keep me in your prayers as I will lit you up in mine.
 
Thank you Hop for sharing and reaching out. I go deeper in my story, as well (see my signature line). These are also more intense shares with "trigger warnings"

Be blessed, brother!
-Kal
 
Hey Kal

I’m happy that you found a home in your faith. This can be major in someone’s road to understanding of what went wrong.

I applaud you and I’m really happy that works for you.
 
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