On recovery
Makingprogress
Registrant
When I first realized that I had actually been damaged, broken by what happened tome over the years of my childhood I felt at a complete loss. I must have been close to 50 years old then. Hopelessness just overwhelmed me. Then I heard about a men's group at a nearby church that was helping men with sexual dysfunction to put it tactfully. I was given hope and I rushed to join in hopes of being healed in short order. After two years of very difficult meetings and introspection I began to relax and thought I saw a light up ahead.
I still remember the night we all were being particularly honest and open and I talked about my real hurt and the progress I had made. The wise facilitator cautioned me that this is a journey, not a destination. He said it would likely take ten years for me to come to a place of real healing.
I was crushed. I even thought of giving up as hopelessness once again set in. Instead I sobered up readjusted my expectations and continued. If there was any help at all I wanted it.
It has been well over ten years now and in fact I do feel freer than ever before. I am now able to reach out to others on their journey and help them through the pitfalls I encountered. I have a much more realistic idea of what healing is and I accept that there will still be things I will need to work on. It's not just the abuse issues if that weren't enough, it is all the normal stuff too of a maturing soul that I must deal with.
Life is a test of character, not skill. I know now it's not what happens to you, its how you deal with it. Learning to deal with life in healthy ways and looking beyond yourself to those around you for me is true progress. Full healing will happen to me when I take that last breath and embrace my heavenly Father. My goal is not so much getting fixed, but getting better. It's not where I am at on this journey, it's the direction I am heading that's important.
Just my thoughts.
I still remember the night we all were being particularly honest and open and I talked about my real hurt and the progress I had made. The wise facilitator cautioned me that this is a journey, not a destination. He said it would likely take ten years for me to come to a place of real healing.
I was crushed. I even thought of giving up as hopelessness once again set in. Instead I sobered up readjusted my expectations and continued. If there was any help at all I wanted it.
It has been well over ten years now and in fact I do feel freer than ever before. I am now able to reach out to others on their journey and help them through the pitfalls I encountered. I have a much more realistic idea of what healing is and I accept that there will still be things I will need to work on. It's not just the abuse issues if that weren't enough, it is all the normal stuff too of a maturing soul that I must deal with.
Life is a test of character, not skill. I know now it's not what happens to you, its how you deal with it. Learning to deal with life in healthy ways and looking beyond yourself to those around you for me is true progress. Full healing will happen to me when I take that last breath and embrace my heavenly Father. My goal is not so much getting fixed, but getting better. It's not where I am at on this journey, it's the direction I am heading that's important.
Just my thoughts.
