Nothing

[EGL]

No one will ever love us as much as we love them, no one. We can give and give, but it only makes us that much more vulnerable in the end. Battle lines were drawn the day we took our first breath, and today they close ranks. It all bubbled up to the top months ago, and now, now it's done. Consumed. Raging out of control, and proving itself for what it is. From the day of our entrance unto the hour of our exit, pain heaped upon pain and nowhere is mercy shown. "Chalk is up to a bad day and just drop it." Fuck that. Bitch, bitch, bitch, tired of it. And now to salvage some dignity, how on earth. Stuff it all back down. Our line is cut, our boat is adrift, the course is unknown, and the sharks follow. Typical, typical, typical. What a shit-filled world.

 

Eddie,

I am so sorry you are going through this.

Yes, it seems like we never get a break. Sometimes it is like being alone in the universe.

But I can tell you that it doesn't have to be like that. I know.

I came here feeling like I couldn't belong anywhere or be cared about without a motive. I've learned differently.

Your post speaks of pain that I think most of us can identify with. Don't stuff it down. Share it. Because I can identify with it. Share it and find out all the supoort and love you can find here, as I did.

Time to let it out, my brother. It's been in your gut for too long.

Peace,

Marc

 

[Leosha]

EGL, I am sorry you are having such a hard day, hard time right now. I believe differently, that we can get back as much we give, that there are people who can give us as much decent love as we do to them. But even with thinking more positively, I do still tend to be suspicious of people, even when I should not need to be. It takes a long time to get past some things I think. I hope that in a short while you will be feeling a little better and more positive about the world and the people in it.

Leosha

 

[EGL]

Sorry for the out of control rant last night. I'm supposed to be taking meds (Xanax - anti-anxiety) twice a day, and hadn't taken them for 4 days when I fell apart last night. Finally took them this afternoon and feeling much better. I talked to my wife this evening and she's going to help me keep on schedule with them. My mind is so much more clear and coherent when I take them like I'm supposed to.

 

[brokentoys]

Although you may have spoken off meds, that does not invalidate what you had to say. I found the part about never getting back as much as you give to be interesting. I have thought about this a lot over the years and I have come to the conclusion that I just don't know how to receive. It's not the fault of he other people, I just cannot take compliments or expressions of love without being extremely uncomfortable.
Just thought I'd throw that out.
BT

 

[Ken Singer LCSW]

Wow, tough position to be in.

No one will ever love us as much as we love them, no one. We can give and give, but it only makes us that much more vulnerable in the end. Battle lines were drawn the day we took our first breath, and today they close ranks. It all bubbled up to the top months ago, and now, now it's done

I have to believe that survivors have options and can make choices to go beyond basic choices. In this situation, people can choose beyond bssic choices. You can be loved and love others.

Nothing wrong with that. If you love others, what does that mean for you? Start with that and see what it means for you.

Ken