I understand. Feeling like you are all alone is very scarey. Try to remeber that there are a lot of people here that have (or have had) the same feelings you are currently experiencing. I found this site 3 weeks ago and since then, there has been over 50 new members here. You are not alone, and yes, things will work out and you will feel better.
[john] hugs scooter, its gonna get better, i promise
I know how your feeling, and i would like to take this opportunity to remind you and myself that one of the truths i have found in life is that you get what you look for, you see what you look for. If you spend all your time looking around for signs that things are yucky, that is all that you will see. I am pretty good at getting caught in that trap from time to time. When i recognize it i get myself up off my rear and get outside and start looking for some signs that life is going on and that things are getting better.
I know your weather this last week has just been the pits, i hope the sun comes out and things start looking up for you. Take some comfort in the fact that things change and they tend to come in cycles, lets call this the end of a down cycle and start looking for the signs of better things to come.
one of the things i will say is that i think my abuser gave me is this crazy unhealthy need to face and concure my fears which there are not many left,if i can work past this my most shameful one,but it has got me in to places that normal person might have died, like malls, parties, bars,other peoples cars, (yes) a relationship,this fourm, and other bullshit,that make records and take photos of you,(wow) you say, it gets more then that but i might take up to much memory, thoughts like these delet my time with pain,im not alone with that, see you on the downside,