Not sure what to say

Not sure what to say
James_dup1

James_dup1

Registrant
Hey all,
Not sure what Im going to say just know I need to say something. I feel like Im fallin into a hole that I cant see anyway out of. Like there is no hope. Just like I did when I had to go to the hospital. HOPELESS. Im just so depressed right now. Im just so tried, why cant I just stop, why cant I just be ok. I have a few great friends I can talk to and my wife is and will always be there for me to talk to so I am using them. but then again thats part of the problem, I feel like I use them, like I drain all of there engery. This has been comming on for a few days/weeks not sure which its just been a long time. So I guess for someone who wasnt sure what to say Im sure saying a lot. ok so I'll go for now.
thanks
james
 
Hi James,

I am sorry that these are difficult days for you.
A couple of things I have learned is that you have to move depression -- it works, get some walking in or some form of movement


Secondly,
 
James:

I'm not sure what to say either, except that I relate very much to what you're talking about & going thru. And I empathize with you.

Take care James

Wuame
 
Sorry, I hit the wrong button.

The second point that helps me is to remember I have been here before and got out and even did pretty well--so I know I can get out again.

You are not a burden to anyone. So use your support people. This too shall pass.

Bob
 
James,

I have notice that the depression comes in waves, but like a wave it will pass. Try to hang in there and use the support you have. it hurts them more when we don't len on them than when we do. wish I could learn to live that idea myself.

Ken
 
Ken's right, if we don't use our supporters as they would wish us to use them we will go down.
They love and respect us for whatever reasons they might have, and they have our interests at heart.
If we were a burden on them we'd soon know about it.

Be strong James

Lloydy
 
Hi James...I know what you're talking about. I remember the feeling well. I remember the feeling of sinking. The feeling of hopelessness.

I also remember the day I first met you at the chatspace. I've seen how far you've come since that day, and all the changes that you've made. I could talk for hours about how far you've come in becoming the person you want to be.

The trouble is, when we get feeling like this, its hard to see the progress we've made. Its especially hard to see this as progress. But it is.

The Dean made a good suggestion about going for walks, to keep moving. It helps you feel like your not trapped. Heaven forbid, its good exercise too and I know strongly you feel about that ;) . But the kind of job you have can easily make you feel trapped.

So refresh your memory as to why you are doing this. Keep sight of your goals. And as hard as it is...you CAN do this. We are here with you through it all. You will never be a burden. :p :cool: Remember please...you've got friends who love you.
 
Hi Len
It's good to see someone coming here from using the chat room, so welcome Len.

keep coming back

Lloydy
 
James,

I know that feeling--low energy, nothing to be thrilled about, hopeless. When I was married I had no awareness of the effects of my abuse, and I probably did rely too much on my wife as a therapist, which she was not. Now I do have a support network of friends who are survivors, who live in different parts of the country. That helps so much!

What contributes to the depression in my case has a lot to do with this time of year. The daylight hours are dramatically shorter. Plus, perhaps an uncoucious feeling of dread--summer is over meant spending more time trapped in the house--more trapped by the abusive atmosphere of my dad. On some level, this time of year probably brings that up for me.

Today we had some mild weather and sun. So I took a long walk up a butte, and allowed that sun to shine in my face. Both the activity and the sunlight helps me feel better.

Hope you're feeling better too.

Rick
 
Len:

Good points. Nice to hear from you. Welcome to the boards.

Wuame
 
Thanks for the welcome guys, but I've been here for a while. Some may know me better as Squigy. However, I don't post very often and today it wouldn't let me post under Squigy. So its me...Len...formerly known as Squigy. :cool:
 
Len:

Aah, so that's why your profile only showed one post. Don't believe I ever "met" you as Squigy. Nice to meet you, Len! :D

Wuame
 
Hi Rick L:

I relate to what you're saying about getting married without awareness of the effects--or even clear memories of--my abuse. She is glad I now know and have a good T & support like here to help me. So am I!

I also relate to what you're saying about depression being affected by the seasons. Also by the weather. In my case, the body is also affected. These of course are intertwined, as I have fibromyalgia (FM) a chronic pain & nerve disorder.

I haven't been able to figure out much as far as patterns with the seasonal or weather changes and how they affect my depression, and my FM. I do know this time of year is tough, and basically it has to do with the holiday season, which was never very good for me as a child.

However "Little Wuame" and I are going to enjoy this holiday season with our family!

Rick, may you be able to increasingly live beyond your painful memories, whatever the weather.

Wuame
 
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