Not Sinking Anymore

[Sinking]

Hello to All - It's been some time now since I've been here. I've taken a necessary break and have been concentrating on my healing/recovery, my therapy (nearly three months into it now, going slow but going well), my family, my writing and myself. I think about this community, that I still consider myself a part of, despite my abscence, often and send well wishes your way. But I find too many triggers here, find myself spending more time and energy trying to help others than I do myself. So it's been healthy for me to take a break....I see and feel improvement, some around me see it too. It has been a long painful fight, but the load is getting lighter. For all of the new members who feel as desperate as I did a few months back, please know that it does get better, not without a lot of work on our part, but it does get better. Keep at it, all of you. I will come back soon, hopefully with some energy to share. In the meantime, I thought I'd share a poem, one that indicates it might be time for me to change my name here at Male Survivor. Please be well, treat yourselves well, I wish you peace in your hearts and souls - John

Rising from the shit-hole,
Still filthy but still here.
With strong determination,
I'm moving toward the shore.
Your buoyant love beside me,
I'm not sinking anymore.

Think I have an inkling,
Sun might come out someday,
To warm me on the soft sand,
I'm moving toward the shore,
Your buoyant love beside me,
I'm not sinking anymore.

Cold, wet, cramped and tired,
Battling tidal waves,
One painful stroke at a time,
I'm moving toward the shore,
Your buoyant love beside me,
I'm not sinking anymore

 

[The Dean]

Hi,

Thanks for the update. It sure does sound like it is time to have a more positive nick here. Thanks too for a happy and successful post. They are few and far between at times.

It seems to me that men can get addicted to this place and spend way too much time here. It does not help our recovery to be constantly reading and responding to very sad posts. The most optimistic man on earth would eventually get either a little nuts or very depressed--which can lead to a sense of hopelessness. I think your taking time away as you needed it, is a wonderful sign that you are making real and hopefully lasting progress.

Peace to you.

Bob

 

[Sinking]

Thank you Bob, for the kind words and encouragement.

I agree with you, in a sense, that we can get too much of this place, at times, and it can be detrimental to our healing process.

Please don't anyone misconstrue my message. Male Survivor has been nothing less than a salvation for me when I needed it. This was the first place I ever felt like I belonged, that anyone else could understand what I went through as a child and what I was going through as an adult trying to deal with it. And there is a wonderful sense of community here, like no other I've encountered.

But it should be used wisely, in a way that it will be helpful to ourselves and others. It can be very taxing to read post after post that continually bring us down. I found that I was expending a huge amount of energy trying to help others here and not leaving any energy for myself. I was even involved with the Leadership Team in its infancy but became completely overwhelmed and exhausted. Regretfully, I had to drop out. Fortunately, with great compassion and understanding from the rest of the team.

Certainly it is good to help others but not at the risk of hurting one's self...a trait we survivors too often display, helping others while not caring for ourselves. So, if you can, try to recognize when you might need a break and then take it. We all need and deserve a breather from time to time.

 

[Leosha]

I am glad that you are 'Not sinking anymore'. That is a very good, positive thing. I think taking the occasional break from here is a very healthy choice to make. I hope that you continue to find security and success in your healing. I wish you well.

Leosha