Not leaving. Wish I could dissapear

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Not leaving. Wish I could dissapear

When I posted my story here today, I could not imagine it would still be affecting me this bad. I Am very depressed about this. I wish I could be invisible again.

Tried to take a nap. Nightmares connected to what I posted. Woke up crying. I hate this crap.

I can't understand how anyone could do this to a kid. Sick doesn't describe it. I can't escape the memories. I wrote them down. They are so intense right now.

Tried using my crayons. Sad things. That is all I can do. Remember that too. Being a kid in school who drew the same things. A family of five with a man with sharp teeth. Evil.

I know this is not making sense. But I am not going to edit it. It's how I am right now.
 
Hi Marc
I have nothing to say to help....I remembered something a couple of weeks ago in the middle of a restaurant, it had remained buried for 36 years! Spent a couple of lousy days afterwards.....then felt free-er.
I don't know what to say except I'm with you in spirit,...just tough it out like usual....the reward is the extra freedom you get to be you, even if it doesn't seem like it now

solitary aardvark
 
Marc,

I am very proud of you for not editing this. Sometime, our words, our emotions, they come out of us exactly as they need to. You have not filtered yourself, you said exactly as you feel and what you needed to say. It make sense to me. I question it sometime also, still, even though I know it is pointless to do that. How can people do these things to children? :( I am sorry what happened to you my friend. It is a very sad and scary story, yours. You are a brave man.

Leosha
 
mark,

i am sorry my brother.

as i have shared with you, i have some pretty shitty dasy, hours, and someitmes combination of days.

then one day or a few hours, i'll be o.k. or pre-occupied with something else. or be numb.

i can't help much now but i too, am with you in spirit, thoughts, and share the pain.

i and we ( on't want to nor do i have the right but i think so for sure) do not want you to dis-appear but can appreciate your feelings now.

take care friend, guy
 
Hi Marc

you will get through, you have us to share your thoughts, just talking about them eases it, little by little, something you would never want to tell suddenly you are writing on the board. Why? Because you know we will listen, and walk with you on this journey.

Take care

ste
 
Marc,

If you feel it, you shouldn't edit it. You don't have to sugarcoat anything here.

ou feel what you feel, and if you need to get it out, well, Hell, do it. This stuff is poison, we need to get rid of it, end of story.

I'm proud of you!

I love you, my brother and good friend.

Scot
 
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