Not good

Not good
C

Caetel

Registrant
I am reaching rock bottom these days. I don't know what to do. I am dealing with all sorts of emotions and old feelings are creeping in. I feel so dirty, so undeserving, so useless...
I can't even talk, I am staying away from people, I can't be bothered really. I have been experiencing these panick attacks which seem to be body memories. I miss V. and I am stuck not knowing what to do. I am scared to reach out to him, scared because the last time I tried he reacted so violentely. I love him and still I don't know if there is any hope anymore. I am losing confidence, I feel I have all these sexual problems unresolved so I understand V. would prefer someone more capable. I feel terrible. I am crying again. Sorry.
 
I am sorry you are having such a rough time of it. I wish there was something I could do to help. All I can do is tell you you are in my thoughts. And you are a good person. V's problems are his. I am sorry he cannot provide what you need. You are strong, you can get through this. Wishing you all the best.
 
Caetel

sorry about the problems you face, I am a survivor and know it is hard for you this time, sounds like you love V so well, can you put up with the violence, no you should not, but love is full of emotions and feelings, only you know how far those feelings go.

If you feel you are in minefield with lead boots on, and I can help, let me know,

c'est la vie

ste
 
Originally posted by reality2k4:
Caetel

sorry about the problems you face, I am a survivor and know it is hard for you this time, sounds like you love V so well, can you put up with the violence, no you should not, but love is full of emotions and feelings, only you know how far those feelings go.

If you feel you are in minefield with lead boots on, and I can help, let me know.

There is always hope if we know how to find it, finding it can be the most difficult, but listening definitely is one of the key words.

c'est la vie

ste
Click to expand...
 
Love sometimes seems like such an abusive emotion. But what else can we do that is good in the world but love? It isn't much, but it is all I have to offer.

Love,

Aden
 
Caro,

You know, you're not useless. You really aren't. Yes, things are so NOT very good right now, and this can blind you to all the good you've done, all the good that YOU are. I wish, oh Lord, do I wish that I could take the hurt away. But that can't be done, can it.

Sometimes, all we need is a reminder that people care. I hope you've read the posting here and taken them to heart. My dear friend, my sister, you've helped so many here. I know you've helped so many there, in France, in the "real world." You've helped ME when I've been at the bottom, so what kind of a person would I be if I didn't be there for you now?

A person can be measured by the lives they've touched. You cast your stone in the water and your ripples have reached, touched, affected many people beyond where the rock landed.

V, I hope, will see how much you love him and overcome the deep pit he's dug for himself to return your heart. Sometimes people don't. Most of the time, when they see their own worth, they feel worthy enough to return what they should have in the first place.

I don't want you to start feeling unworthy of that, because you are. I don't want you to fall into that dark place because you don't deserve it. None of us do.

Just know that I care. It's what I can offer, and I hope that helps.

PM me if you need to talk.

Peace and love,

Scot
 
Hey Caro:

So sorry to hear you have fallen into "The Pit." As anyone here will tell you who has gone through it, sometimes you need to hit bottom & connect with those dark places inside yourself before you can bounce back up - it's like an animal shedding its skin in order to grow.

Hugs,

:J
 
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