Not feeling very safe on this site ...

Not feeling very safe on this site ...
S

ShyBear

Registrant
I'm not feeling very safe on this site right now.

I joined a few days ago, I've read a little, posted once or twice, tried to do chat (too soon).

I saw the post from Cass Juarez and feel sick that she would want to take my pain and write a piece of fiction from it, for profit !

Then I saw that hit-and-run crap from "ThePredatorGame" - the name alone made me flinch, the post made my skin crawl and the fact that ANYTHING from her has been allowed to remain on this site has scared me very deeply.

I bought a paid membership yesterday - I'm thinking about canceling it & bailing entirely because I just don't feel safe here.
 
ShyBear,

The post you spoke of by Cass Juarez has been removed. The moderators work very hard to keep this site as safe as possible. As in any other part of the internet, it cannot be 100%, it takes time to root out the ones that come here with less than desirable intentions. Keeping it safe is your job too. If something seems off, report it. Keep your communications on-site, don't give out your personal information, i.e. your name, e-mail address, IM handle, address, telephone number. Here the moderators can keep an eye out through the posts and reporting any suspect PMs, through the chat logs and reporting of any suspect conversations. Here, as in real life, what you share is your choice.

Take care and be kind to yourself,
Bill
 
ShyBear - I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. My trust for this site tends to expand and contract at intervals. Right now it's in a contraction phase, so I haven't been posting a lot lately. I just get these "vibes" about things, and go into hyper-defense, vigilence mode where I don't want to open up about anything I'm thinking because I feel vulnerable. Other times, I go into expansion mode and spill my every thought. I just seems to come and go in phases with me.

On the "PredatorGame" thing, I agree, I wished the moderators would have deleted that whole crap. I can't understand why it's still there. Very triggering.

Regards,
Eddie
 
Eddie

Thanks so much for your reply, that just makes so *much* sense. I cycle with other things, I should not be surprised that I'd cycle here.

Just gotta keep developing that awareness !
 
It's ok to feel that way. I feel it too sometimes, actually a lot of the time. I'm not going to tell you to stay or leave, but just what I've come to the conclusion of.

I look at the benefits of the site. Although there are some bad people out there, the site makes quick to point out who they are and deals with them appropriately. I didn't get to see the post by that one person Cass Juarez. They were dealt with too quickly for me to have seen it, it was pointed out right away by one of the members to keep an eye out for them.

I've come to the conclusion that I don't feel safe anywhere. My therapist asked me the other day "Is there anywhere that you feel safe?" I just sat there staring at the floor...I wasn't going to lie and say yes. I don't even feel safe at home, it is kind of sad, but that is the way I feel.

The site and board has helped me so much...has saved my life a few times. There are bad people that come here and are motivated by money or power, but I don't care for them. They are worthless, I try to ignore them and not let it get to me. There are too many good people here, like Ivanhoe, Raphael, Mark, Ivo, Leosha, Jake, Bobby, Ken...I mean the list goes on and on. The way I look at it is that there are too many good people here, they far outweigh the few bad people that come along every once and a while. They have all helped me, given me advice, support, hopefully I've been able to help them and support them too.

I'm tired of running. I've been scared all my life. I just refuse to let the bad people that come here bother me. I'm not going to do it, that gives them more power. There are too many good people here, and I know that I can count on them to be there for me, as I will be there for them.

I don't know if much of what I typed made sense...it's hard to describe how much some of the people on this board mean to me, and how they have helped save me, or made me feel less awkward when I'm in such an awkward state.

Best of luck in whatever decision you make,

Jon
 
Bill

Thank you for your prompt reply, which has gone a long way to ease my fears.

One question - How do I report a inappropriate post ?
 
Originally posted by ShyBear:
Bill

Thank you for your prompt reply, which has gone a long way to ease my fears.

One question - How do I report a inappropriate post ?
Click to expand...
ShyBear,

You are welcome.

On the bottom of each post is a "Report Post" button with a little picture of a whistle next to it. Click on it and fill in the appropiate info (like sending a PM), subject and why you feel it is inappropiate.

For an in appropiate PM cut and paste it into a new PM to a moderator.

Take care and be kind to yourself,
Bill
 
Originally posted by ShyBear:
I cycle with other things, I should not be surprised that I'd cycle here.

Just gotta keep developing that awareness !
Click to expand...
Here and as you go further in your healing, you will start letting your "guard" down, exposing some very tender "skin".
 
Thanks Bill 1965 and I encourage Shybear, EGL and others to alert Mods to what your feeling uncomfortable or unsafe. The Mods and Admin folks do work hard to moderate this site. It has helped everyone (me included) and want to offer this to all of us who suffer and struggle..there is light and happiness at the end of the tunnel. I know!! (not at the end of the tunnel but near enough to benefit from some light and peacefulness)! It takes all of us in the community of survivors to alert when the "wolf in survivors clothing" breeches our borders!

Howarxd
 
Shybear,

sometime, also, there is 'to much, to soon' syndrome that happens. We finally find a place like this, where we are accepted and understood, and it can be rather overwhelming. Remember that there is not requirements here as to what you post, how much you post, if you go to chat, etc. Do what feels safe for you here.

This is the internet. The member side, it is safe from 'drive by' idiots posting about their book or something. Here on public side, it is open for anyone. Perpetrators and pedophiles can also post here. But if a post seems wrong, it will quickly be reported by someone. The moderators do a good job of keeping this site safe, and the members here do a good job of protecting each other some by reporting such things so they are taken care of.

Leosha
 
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