Not a Jock....

Brennan87

Registrant
Tedure,

I could have written this almost word for word. However I never thought my abuse could have been at play. I tried a few pee wee/little league but disliked it. Only sport I enjoyed was tennis in high school.aleays thought I was just not athletically inclines and more an artsy nerd.
 
I mentioned trying out for wrestling in elementary school on another MS thread as I mentioned there, the physical touch totally freaked me out.
 

johnb11

Registrant
Wasn’t raised by my Biological Father and didn’t really know him until I was an adult. But I hate sports, I don’t like contact, I don’t like masculinity, and I don’t like the tribal war attitude that is associated with it (ie: the guys in a circle doing a war cry to hype them up). Maybe I associate it with bullying or hyper masculinity.

Anyway, a few years ago, my biological father was telling someone that he can’t stand sports, playing them or watching them. A friend of mine said to me, “you don’t fall far from the tree”
I think you've nailed it.. it is primitive tribal warfare training. I know one beneficial aspect is teamwork.. but for what ?.. to get the other guys , there is always an enemy. To be a MAN ultimately you have to become mindless and kill - handy training from boyhood when a war comes around. On the other hand what if all sport was cooperative towards all ? Competition and physical superiority is not masculinity, masculinity needs to be redefined.
 
I think you've nailed it.. it is primitive tribal warfare training. I know one beneficial aspect is teamwork.. but for what ?.. to get the other guys , there is always an enemy. To be a MAN ultimately you have to become mindless and kill - handy training from boyhood when a war comes around. On the other hand what if all sport was cooperative towards all ? Competition and physical superiority is not masculinity, masculinity needs to be redefined.
Thanks for expounding.

Although, I think I might also have a predisposition against sports I get from my biological father. It’s weird to have similarities like that and the fact that he didn’t raise me. My half sister one time told me, “you breathe like dad” genetics...
 

WG

Registrant
I was never into sports, either. Back then, a hundred-plus years ago when I was a teenager, they all did what you all have written about - choosing sides, being in timed sports, having to perform certain tasks like dribbling ( I thought they meant at the urinal), throwing, catching, running, etc. All while others watched. Horrifying. I didn't do well and that was certainly noted by the P.E. coach. However, all he did was tell those of us who were not athletes to try better. Pretty forward thinking for 1965 (see? I told you it was ancient history).
On the other hand, my brother was the star. He was on the track team, the cross country team and played baseball like a pro. Everyone knew him at our end of town. His name was in the sports section of the local paper. He could dance really well, too. Great moves, smooth delivery and always was a snappy dresser. Good friend of Bobby Bonds (in the 60's). Did that make him a jerk to live with? Quite the opposite. When my folks would deny me food he would sneak some in for me. When he had the choice to go with me to the park and feed the ducks or go to a local track meet, he chose to be late to the meet. He didn't know about the abuse, however. I think he thought something was not right, but never asked.
 
Sports not only brought up in inadequacies or perceived ones but at some point, I was stopped by my abuse, the way I was my peers was often sexually and to think of being in the locker room naked with them and being aroused was too much to handle.
 
I was not a sports person growing up sort of the non athletic type. I hated PE for numerous reasons mostly having to change and shower. In middle school another older kid urinated in me in the shower which I still can see as if it was yesterday. I was frozen and got an erection. I got teased by some others some left the shower and I remember a few looked like they felt sorry for me. At the time I did not associate my abuse and my bodies response now I clearly understand it which I hate. Also regret not standing up for myself but I was and am the one to not cause trouble. The submissive passive type. I got my parents to let me become a manager on the sports team to avoid having to shower. However back then was there as the no pass no play rule even for managers and the coaches could paddle you. So there were time I was made to run with others and shower for failing a class and being paddled in front of the team. Hated sports and PE and now regret my past.
 
I led the league in strikeouts while pitching SLOW PITCH softball... 3 for the season. Go figure. I guess I got the hang of a high floating pitch that was difficult to swing at. I loved playing softball and when I was in grade school loved playing basketball. But it was too short and too round to become a serious athlete. My proudest moment was in ninth grade practicing football and tackling the 6 foot tall stud Chick as he ran around left end. That collision just about killed me. I played in the tenth grade but was so far down the depth chart I don't think I got into more than two or three plays all season. And yes, walking into the shower room was torture with my pudgy body. I was a hell of a bowler though, the sport no self respecting high schooler would pursue. It was a group of nerds... but we did enjoy ourselves. An athlete I'm not, but I am a pretty serious hiker which helps keep me in reasonably good shape for my age.
 

Tedure

Registrant
I was okay at sports. But when they would ask me to pick teams or we would shoot to see who picks. I almost always started picking with the ones who didn't ever get picked first. So we would end up being quite the underdogs but at least they would get the ball and in my opinion it was alot of fun even if we wouldn't win.
I really enjoy sports but I hated competition, and aggression.
Good attitude!!
 
Tuba player. Nuff said. Lol

Boner fear was sooooo overwhelming.

But I did get a four year varsity letter for baseball which included three state championship teams in the four years without once getting naked, showering or changing in the locker room. - the egotistical coach wanted to read and censor the local newspaper team coverage so he the head PE teacher and baseball coach pulled me out of study hall my freshman year and I became the official team scorekeeper, and local paper reporter. Attended every game, official scorekeeper at all home games, wrote articles for paper and dropped to coach for review on Saturday and delivered to paper every Monday morning. Rid a decent tuba player HAS to be involved in sports I highly recommend this ultimate nerd way of doing it! Rofl
 
Tuba player. Nuff said. Lol

Boner fear was sooooo overwhelming.

But I did get a four year varsity letter for baseball which included three state championship teams in the four years without once getting naked, showering or changing in the locker room. - the egotistical coach wanted to read and censor the local newspaper team coverage so he the head PE teacher and baseball coach pulled me out of study hall my freshman year and I became the official team scorekeeper, and local paper reporter. Attended every game, official scorekeeper at all home games, wrote articles for paper and dropped to coach for review on Saturday and delivered to paper every Monday morning. Rid a decent tuba player HAS to be involved in sports I highly recommend this ultimate nerd way of doing it! Rofl
awesome. now you can get letters for band, drama, all kinds of things. not in my day!
 
the group of boys in my neighborhood that abused and tortured me would come to the house and ask my mom if I could come out and play sports. Under the pretense that they needed one more kid. Have hated sports to this day. Sports meant abuse in my head.
 
the group of boys in my neighborhood that abused and tortured me would come to the house and ask my mom if I could come out and play sports. Under the pretense that they needed one more kid. Have hated sports to this day. Sports meant abuse in my head.
Wow - sorry Rob :(
 
the group of boys in my neighborhood that abused and tortured me would come to the house and ask my mom if I could come out and play sports. Under the pretense that they needed one more kid. Have hated sports to this day. Sports meant abuse in my head.
So sorry Robarge
 
Ugh, sports...

I hated school from kindergarten on due to the family chaos and feeling inferior and "other than", and this was years before the sexual abuse. I zoned out and was aloof throughout all of school. Even in gym class I didn't pay attention and would wonder off into the periphery to not be a part of the class. This would lead to me being one of the ones to be picked last. I think I actually played kickball once in gym class because the PE teacher made me go up to kick, and when I did kick, I ran to the pitcher instead of first base while all the rest of the class was yelling at me because I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I didn't even know or care about the bases.
My father was too busy with his own drama to be too involved with us, he never got me into sports or even interested in sports. There was no bringing us to ball games or watching them on tv, no favorite teams, etc. This was something that further alienated me from my peers in school, which only compounded my low self esteem and low sense of masculinity and no feeling of belonging.
I did enjoy playing with my friends and was good playing sports with them, but in the school setting I just shut down. But even with my friends I would take teasing from not knowing or caring about sports like who was playing in the world series or superbowl. Even as an adult it is a basic thing for an ice breaker to be able to walk up to a stranger and talk sports speak, like what did you think of _______ this season? I used to pretend and nod my head and just agree with them, but that just left me feeling those old feelings. Now I just come out and say that I don't follow sports, it will deflate them a little but we then usually end up chatting about something else anyway.
My kids aren't into sports either like I wasn't, but they don't have the baggage that I had so it doesn't seem to bother them. We play some sports as a family but don't follow any pros or teams.
 
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