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TeeJayUU

Registrant
Dear Brothers,

Please do not be mad at me for this, please do not hold it against me, I have made a mistake. After a letter I sent out, I think my biological brother, my sexual abuser, has learned that I go to this site, and he might be here now, reading this!

When I realized this last night, I thought I would just leave this place FOREVER, BUT, YOU ARE MY BROTHERS! I have found love and support, guidance and acceptance, and so much more here at MaleSurvivor. I have made some very special friends here and I want to stay! (if you let me) All of my defenses are up, I am not sure who to trust and what to do.

I have to write this to my brother and tell him some things. Please bear with me, I am so sorry, I almost feel like I have contaminated this site, that I have betrayed you by inviting a PERP into our site, I am sorry. Feel free to respond in any way you feel appropriate, here, on the Members Board, Spiritual Board, or in a PM.or just ignore me.

TJ


Dear ,

Are you here? Are you reading this? Part of me hopes so and part of me hopes not. If you are here, please do not hide yourself and try to take advantage of me again. Announce yourself and lets have a supportive amd healing dialogue here.

, I do not who hurt you. I do not know who did what to you to make you think that what you did to me was ok. I really think you are a victim of childhood sexual abuse as well. How else could you learn what you learned to do to me and have me do to you? Someone must have hurt you. Even though my pain is overwhelming and invades every square inch of my life, I AM GOING TO HEAL. Are you? Will you join me in the long healing process?

I do not want to be the one who tells you this, but our Mom, Dad, Step-Mom and our other brother and his wife all know what happened between the two of us. They have known for about 18 months now. No one is angry at you. The family is scared for us and worried about both of us. They love both of us! They want both of us to heal! JJW, I love you! You hurt me so bad, but I still love you, I respect you for what you have accomplished in your professional life, I miss my wonderful sister-in-law and my BEAUTIFUL niece! But I cant have a relationship with you until we can talk, really talk about what happened between us. The Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Panic Attacks and Flashbacks are ALL due to my sexual abuse by you as a child and then as a teenager and also by Dave (the cop - Mom and Dad want to GET him!) who physically hurt me so, Jeff B who is now in jail for what he did to 100s of boys and the videos he made, G.B. of Jeff City who offerd to "keep me as his own" who Mom knew I was scared of and told him to never contact our family again (years ago) and Dennis who just disappeared. JJW, do you KNOW what all of these people did to me? You knew them first, you introduced them to me! The pain? The shame? The EVERYTHING!!!!

, I have been told that you have recently come to know God. I hope this is true because I believe it will help you on the healing process. JJW, this is a wonderful and supportive web site. You can get so much support and help here, BUT ONLY IF YOU ARE READY TO HEAL. If you are not ready to heal, please leave this site and dont come back until you are ready, you are not welcome unless you want to heal and stop the hurting. When and if you are ready, lets talk through this site. I think we can help each other, if you want.

Love,
 
TJ we are never mad at a brother. Remember that always and you are welcome here always.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((TJ)))))))))))))))))))
 
TJ,

I will never be mad at you. Your compassion for your abuser humbles me. Because I have none for mine.

You are a brother here. Period. We will stand beside you.

(((((TJ & Bea)))))

Marc
 
hy would you not be welcomed? You are my brother, and nothing will change that. If JJW is here, hopefully he can get help to heal himself!
CAsey
 
((((((((TJ))))))))

Don't touch that dial! We want you to stay here.

Joe
 
TJ,
Your compation to your brother is aw inspering. If he is here I hope he finds what he needs to heal. The fact you want to not only heal yourself, but also hope for his healing and for ya'll to heal. WOW! (((((hugs)))))

James
 
TJW - I, too, greatly admire your compassion. I haven't reached that level yet with my abuser, but hope to someday. I know that for me, personally, it will be a way to truly, fully, heal.
 
tj,
your real brothers here have spoken, and i concur. you are our brother and we stand together.
 
TeeJay, don't leave, as for your perps, don't feel guilty about leading them here. I :mad: always tried to help my perps until I realized they didn't need or deserve my help. That's when a lot of healing began. I stopped feeling guilty and started letting myself feel angry. It's not an easy road but it's the only one I feel safe on.
Take Care,
Sean
 
TJ:

I don't think you've done anything wrong. It is very admirable of you to reach out to your brother with a forgiving heart. Maybe your recovery will be hastened because of your love, regardless of your brother's response.

Joseph
 
TeeJayUU,

Listen brother, I don't hate you or want you to leave either. I don't think that you made a mistake or that you wanted to hurt yourself or others.

Take it easy,
Fusion
 
You have no need leave. Someone here as perpetrator is quickly recognized. You have great kindness for someone who has harmed you. That reminds me much of a friend of mine. You are a bigger man then me to have that, because I do not think I do. I hope you are good.

Leosha
 
TJ,

You didn't do anything wrong. Please stay. If for anything else, for the compassion you bring here.

I for one can't be as forgiving as you are, so your perp should be warned of that.

But you, my brother, I've learne a lot from, and have nothing but love for you.

Peace and love,

Scot
 
THANK YOU ALL! You have made me feel SO much bettera bout myself and this situation. I have tears in my eyes after reading all of these responses!

PEACE! HOPE! LOVE!

TJ
 
TJ
If he does read your letter, and all the amazing, supportive responses you've had, then maybe he'll think about what he's done, and what happened to him, and seek the help that's out there.

That was a brave move TJ, the sign of a true Survivor.

Dave
 
I shared this posting with my Mom last night. She was visiting from out of town for the night. She was glad I posted this letter, said she was proud of me, and that she was happy I had found this site, and finally she hopes it helps our family heal!

Thank you all again for ALL of this support!

PEACE! LOVE! HOPE!

TJ
 
TJ
If we gave out medals, you'd get this weeks !

Dave.
 
Dave,

Thank you for all of your help and support! I will take the medal, but ONLY if we ALL get to continue to choose the next recipiant!

TJ :cool:
 
Hi TJ--

I echo every one else...I don't see any harm done in spreading the word about this site, only good things can come of it.

But I wonder about trying to communicate with your brother this way, since you don't really know he's here.

You've written a nice, compassionate letter. And it seems like a letter you'd really like your brother to see. Why not send it to him? That way you'll know your overture has been received.

Danny
 
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