Nightmares and Flashbacks (Triggers)

Nightmares and Flashbacks (Triggers)
Dewey2k

Dewey2k

I had a nightmare the other night, or a flashback, I guess some would call it. It woke me up at 3AM and I was 10 again. Everything snapped into place as the entire episode unfolded before my mind's eye, and I learned that my perp did more to me than just molest me. Or at least I think that's what happened.

Would my mind make up something like this, and if so, why? I didn't remember him penetrating me until after this dream, and now I wonder if it was ONLY a dream or if it really happened.

The thing is that the memories, if that's what they are, resonate as true, as they have since the nightmare. It feels like it did when I discovered I was gay, when all the pieces fell into place during the emotional breakdown that started me down the road to recovery, and I know that is real.

Am I hoping that it didn't happen, denying it? Or is my mind losing it for some reason?

I'm not sure which I fear more: that it happened, or that my mind is trying to make me think it did.
 
Dewey,

never deny these nightmares as unreal, nor the memory fragments that you may not be able to piece together.

The best thing is to write down the dream or the memories on paper, as best as you can remember them.

The mind has a curious way of storing bad memories, and if they are coming out, then I suppose it is good, even though it scares the sh*t out of you.

Never deny memories as if they did not happen, it is very possible those memories were hidden and needed to come out.

I dont have nightmares as such, but I have these real weird dreams, and I suppose if I were younger then they would have also been nightmares.

I dealt with nightmares long ago, and they can go away, but I suppose that when they do, then it is a way of suppressing also.

Supperssing them at a young age meant that they have to come out someday, and until we get the right therapy to release this garbage, then I suppose it just carries on.

I hope that helped,

ste
 
Having repressed the memory of what happened i had a hard time figuring out if what i was suddenly starting to suspect was real or not, and my T put it in place for me quite well..

The mind may block the memories, but the body does not, nor does one's emotions or subcontious mind, and its very common to "feel" a memory before you can "see" it.

So listen to yourself, what is your body and subcontious remembering? your body doesen't make stuff up..
 
Ohh yes, and i would also like to add: that thing with waking up and feeling like you are 10 again, thats classic Flashback stuff.. infact my memory started coming back after i had and episode just like it (but slowly).
 
The body does store the memory, it has to, just to let you live a functional life.

Google, mind body memory, it is very interesting.

ste
 
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