Motherstars:
Sorry you had so much computer trouble. Glad you persisted & posted here.
I empathize with your son. I was molested by a babysitter in the same apartment building when I was 9 or 10, & by another one earlier, when I was 5 or 6. (Can't tell me mother, she incested me.)
If you can and if he will, encourage your son to a good therapist. If he can find one who works with male or any survivors of sexual abuse, so much the better. I'd also encourage him to find a good support group for sexual abuse survivors, especially one for men if he can find one.
And of course I'd encourage him to come here and share what of his story & feelings he can, when & as he's ready. Just reading the stories of others here will help him. As will reading the many good articles and info we have here to help male survivors.
We also have an excellent bookstore. Good books to start with might be "Abused as Boys" by Mic Hunter or "Victims No Longer" by Mike Lew. There are also some good books in which survivors share their stories, and some helpful info. I am in the process of re-reading Male Survivors: 12 Step Recovery Program for Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse" by Timothy L. Sanders, which is an extremely helpful book.
Most of all I'd like to tell your son that it was not his fault.
Also, in case you're thinking about it, as a mother might be, it was not your fault, either.
So make sure you take care of yourself, and consider that you might need therapy to help you get thru this as well. Also feel free to post here. You might find the Family & Friends forum especially helpful.
Take care. I hope to hear from your son here.
Victor
PS: If he doesn't want to share his story with the whole group here at first, I invite him to private message (PM) me. He can do this by simply clicking on the envelope with two people, up at the top of any message I've written. Or click on my name (Wuamei) in the list of moderators for this forum, on your right as you first come into the public discussion boards. This will bring up my profile and a place that will say send private message. Then he can write whatever he can & needs to write, confidentially. I can listen, try to help, point to other people or resources who can help more.
