New to the community

[who was meant to be]

I wish to start seeking relief by being a part here I have basically been alone with the tragidy of
my adolscence and life .and I recently have drove myself into an isolated state with the loss of my girlfriend and
our 1 year old son which is for the better I know as my past is poisoning my present and i just don't know how to
prevent that nor have i ever.. i just remove myself from the relationship or avoided the urges . The lesson and teaching of my childhood are all destroying me to
day they interupt and prevent me from genuine and healthy love for anyone especially those closest to me and threaten all with the cycle of abuse. I have some years in recovery from drug addicttion 19 to be exact . yet it has all been there and refuses to let me go .

 

[Hiding from Myself]

Welcome! I'm sorry for your struggles & feelings of isolation. We all face & battle our own demons from the traumas of our abuse. I hope being here will give you the strength to face them knowing you don't have to do it alone. Go easy on yourself, don't give up, & most of all please take care of yourself!

 

[Caz1967]

Welcome to the community. I hope you can find some relief here. It sounds like you have reached a point in your life where perhaps things will slowly start to get better. One cannot fix a problem that doesn't exist, and it is only when we recognize that things aren't going well that we can begin to do something to heal the wounds of our past and grow into healthier people. There is hope here as we all struggle together to try overcome the negative influences of our past. Stick around, read, learn, and participate as you feel comfortable doing, and hopefully you will find this place helpful to you. A lot of people have.

Nice to meet you and welcome again

 

[who was meant to be]

Welcome to the community. I hope you can find some relief here. It sounds like you have reached a point in your life where perhaps things will slowly start to get better. One cannot fix a problem that doesn't exist, and it is only when we recognize that things aren't going well that we can begin to do something to heal the wounds of our past and grow into healthier people. There is hope here as we all struggle together to try overcome the negative influences of our past. Stick around, read, learn, and participate as you feel comfortable doing, and hopefully you will find this place helpful to you. A lot of people have.

Nice to meet you and welcome again

thankyou for your support and insight i truly long to find freedom from the past and the absence of the poison in my present

 

[Caz1967]

@who was meant to be You are quite welcome. I hear you about wanting to break the cycle of abuse. Some things are very hard to accept about ourselves, but we are not in this alone. Here you'll find others who can relate to your struggles and also to your successes on what we like to call our journeys of recovery or healing. You've made a good start by coming here. Best of luck to you.

 

[Michael1959]

Every day is a struggle. But knowing that you are not alone is very important. In addition to all the other emotions that come with abuse there is confusion. Listening to others, understanding what they went through and realization that others have experienced the same struggles somehow gives us strength and hope for better days. I hope you can find peace and joy.

 

[smc1972]

Welcome and sorry to read of you loosing you GF and 1 year old son due to these struggles. I believe this can be a place where you can realize your not alone, find valuable resources and support. You could look at this as the beginning of the process to help yourself and transform how you think of yourself. Self-judgement, self-hatreted, self negativity and may other “self” seem to be a common thread with prety much everyone here i know it was nd to some degree still is. However for me it has leased a lot by being here and having support of others and knowing we all our stories thought they vary but there is a commonality.

 

[who was meant to be]

Every day is a struggle. But knowing that you are not alone is very important. In addition to all the other emotions that come with abuse there is confusion. Listening to others, understanding what they went through and realization that others have experienced the same struggles somehow gives us strength and hope for better days. I hope you can find peace and joy.

Thankyou for your reply ......I'm not exactly sure what i feel anymore so many years of living and dying with it all just trying to refrain from becoming them .its bad enough i endured all the heart ache - loss and suffering i have to share this body with the addiction that followed

 

[who was meant to be]

Welcome and sorry to read of you loosing you GF and 1 year old son due to these struggles. I believe this can be a place where you can realize your not alone, find valuable resources and support. You could look at this as the beginning of the process to help yourself and transform how you think of yourself. Self-judgement, self-hatreted, self negativity and may other “self” seem to be a common thread with prety much everyone here i know it was nd to some degree still is. However for me it has leased a lot by being here and having support of others and knowing we all our stories thought they vary but there is a commonality.

 

[who was meant to be]

Thankyou Hope So ..........

 

[tommyb]

(who-was-meant-to-be)

"my past poisoning ... my present"

'Hang in there.

 

[JethroTull]

No one judges here, our own judging is always, much worse than we desire. But as you read and learn from here, you will see whilst there is pain, and suffering, there is also healing, acceptance and self compassion. It is growing in every story. Whilst we need to own that is ours to own, it is in that we find our strength, the strength we need to fight, the strength we need to process our past and begin the difficult conversations with ourselves and others. We need to also acknowledge what are the sins and betrayals of others, and the role they have played in our life up until we took control of our fragmented inner selves. Afterall it is only when we become aware of the distortions in our perceptions of intimacy that we can truly make informed decisions.

You are suffering, and we all share your pain, but please take some time here, and let our truths support you and show you, you are worthy of acceptance, and healing, and self compassion. Give your self some time, it does get better.