New $^#@$# Therapists

New $^#@$# Therapists
T

Tribear

Registrant
Gotta open all the old stories and tell them again so they have a clue about some misc. references. I didn't need to hear them, they did.

The first therapist I visited met two of my three 'essential' needs. The current one a different two, but only two out of three again.

This is looking for a new girlfriend, or shopping for a car. Hopeless romantic that I am, I have learned to see those things as very similar--really. You go in knowing what you want or need, but I'll be damned if you can get it all in one package. It doesn't seem to matter that I've shortened the lists on all three of the above things.

Maybe I do need to do that, "Do they have a pulse?" thing and take what's there. THEY still get paid. Geez's H...

I'm fine, really.

Crap,

Ed
 
:(

sorry Ed, that you are having such hard times with therapists. I am very fortunate that I found one who suits me, first time I try. Of course, I don't know it will be the only one I ever will go to. I wish you could find someone who would meet all your needs. You should not have to settle for less. After all, as you say, they ARE getting paid. What a pain. Please try to keep yourself well.

leosha
 
Thanks Leosha,

What I wrote may sound like just a rant to some, but I was not trying to dump my trash on anyone. I just said it how I feel it, hoping someone else had been there, and would comment to help bolster my weary and frustrated spirit.

This lady is nice in a couple of ways, but she is really doing me dirty in one way, something totally not my fault. Her name was given to me on the basis of her doing EMDR. She says she offers EMDR, but ususally not to DID patients--"It's too powerful" according to her.

She agreed to try it once with me since I've done it before, I teared up a little at the end of the EMDR session, and she said that's why she doesn't do it with DID patients(???). I'll be tearing up a whole lot more than that in therapy even without EMDR, what does she expect with my background?

I've had very good, far reaching results with EMDR already with a few other therapists, so it is not unproven ground in my case. It gives benefits that no other modality of therapy can offer, and I hate to be without it. It will slow me down, and though not a race, it's been 11 years. I'd like to be integrated before I die of old age.

I will try to resolve it, but I think she may be unmoveable about it. The abuse was bad, but therapy will wear you out all over again. SOME of this therapy/therapist crud is just not necessary.

Regards,

Ed
 
Ed
forgive me for being biased, but I'm training to become a counsellor.

I went to my first therapist in 1999, and I think that I was very fortunate that I went in completely open minded. I didn't have any expectations, and even less knowledge of what therapy was all about. My best guess was based on Woody Allen movies !
So I was grateful for any improvement, although to be fair and with hindsight I know now that my therapist was first class.
Maybe if I'd had a crap one I wouldn't be writing this now ?

But I think we can easily expect too much from therapists, not that I'm saying you do, but I firmly believe that the 'answers' are ours to find, they just make the road smoother.

The EMDR is something I have no great knowledge of at all, it's still regarded with some suspicion here in the UK, but I read many positive things about it when used with Survivors.

Tell your therapist your feelings and doubts though, they can only work with what they're given. My training doesn't include 'mind reading' - and we make better progress when we tell all.

Dave
 
...but I firmly believe that the 'answers' are ours to find...

My training doesn't include 'mind reading'...
Dave
Click to expand...
Dave,

You don't know me, so I appreciate your taking the time to comment.

As it turns out, I didn't expect mind reading, and it wasn't mind-reading on my part that was the problem.

She plainly said that my affect and a mild switch to a different alter were the crux of her concern. The affect really wasn't that drastic--neither is my switching unique to past EMDR sessions. It made me wonder about her comfort with affect and switching, things that can't be unique to MY case of DID. She reassured me about her experience level when I first contacted her, but she seemed surprised at what happened.

Believe me, I'm very determined that, to the extent the ball is in my court, I (as in ME) must be the master of my recovery plan.

I did call her already. The results of the phone call: I think EMDR is going to be workable. During the call, she admitted she needed some reassurance from me that it was similar to other EMDR sessions I've had. I didn't know she needed that---that would have called for mind reading on my part. That's not my job either, but I did it.

Please realize that some of my frustration is in breaking in a new therapist. I have to retell old stories, etc. So be it, but some curves I get thrown are quite taxing. I reserve the right to feel taxed. But I know she needs to hear some of my oft-told history, so I told her.

She might as well get used to the tears and a switch, with or without EMDR. They're part of the program if you're going to treat me.

Regards,

Ed
 
Ed
I appreciate the difficulty that can arise when 'brealikng in a new therapist' - it must be very frustrating to repeat all the old stuff again.

but you seem to be doing all the right things in having a dialogue about your hopes, fears and expectations. And if she's responding with her concerns, maybe based upon her limited knowledge and experience ? then I think you'll be ok.
It's so important for both parties to be up front about the 'nuts and bolts' of the process, without that I don't see how it can work.

I just hope that I could be strong enough to say "sorry, but I haven't got those skills or experience" when the time comes.

Take care and make the most of your new therapist.

Dave
 
Dave,

Thank you. I will paraphrase what I think you just said, with (perhaps) a little of my own inflection thrown in:

"It doesn't matter that the dialogue isn't perfect, what matters is that there IS dialogue".

Of course, it's not being thrown against a brick wall either---she heard me. Based on that, I've thrown my hat of optimism into the ring again.

Regards,

Ed
 
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