New therapist, slightly different plan (*maybe trigger*)

New therapist, slightly different plan (*maybe trigger*)
E

EGL

Registrant
I started therapy last year (June) and ended it in November, having declared myself "cured". :rolleyes: Well, I know I was kidding myself with that thought. I've been wrestling with the thought of starting therapy again, and last week my boss asked me how things were going. He knows of the SA, and that I was therapy - in fact, he was a guiding input in me making that decision. He has been tremendously supportive. Anyway, last week he asked me how things were going with it and I told him I had stopped back in November, but that I felt that I needed to get back into it. So, he gave me the name of someone that he had heard was very good.

I called them today and set up my first appointment for this coming Wednesday. I have to go to my primary care physician tomorrow to ask for the referral for insurance purposes. Shouldn't be any problem with that, though. My doc gave me the referral with no problem to the first psychologist. Also need to talk to him about a refill on the Xanax (anti-anxiety med), since I know my anxiety level is going to go up when I start laying this all out again.

So, the new plan....This new therapist is a Christian based one that deals with abuse, and I think that at this point, that is what I am lacking in trying to recover from this. No, I don't want to walk in there and have him say "Boy, you got to forgive!" I just feel like there is a spiritual recovery aspect to this that I've been missing. Not so much that I need to forgive, but that I need to understand God in all this better. I feel like I understand all the players in this much better than when I started, but...I don't know, just seems like there's more to do, some bigger aspect of this that I don't understand yet.

I need to concentrate on the primary emotional healing from this, but feel like I need to work on my spiritual healing as well.
 
EGL. Hey I did the same thing once. I was cured. Eureka. Trouble was I wasn't. Recovery of your spirit , inner self, involves reacquiring the sense of self worth and respect; and knowing you are a good person. And I think religion plays an important part in that.

Are we ever cured? Cant answer that one. What I do know is that we must accept the facts of the past and we must change the values and beliefs around the past. They were never ours anyway but pushed on us. The scar will always be there but that is all it is. Like the scar from surgery.

What comes eventually is not letting this horrible part of our past influence the future because that is where we are going to spend the rest of our life and SA does not belong there.

I do not know if that is what CURED MEANS
 
EGL,

I started with a new therapist this year. We just got past the introductions/backgound period and last night was "Bill night", where we delved into me. This one night was better than all the more than two years with the last. Some anxiety would me a minor description, we stopped twice to settle me down and for me to get an Ativan. The appointment ended up running an hour over.

One thing that really stuck out. They violated my body, but couldn't touch my soul. No matter how hard they tried to get to my soul, they couldn't turn me into them, I am a good person.

Take care and be good to yourself,
Bill
 
EGL -

I flinched when I read that your new T is a Christian based one.

I have *nothing* against Christians, in fact, one saved my life when I emotionally imploded during the first holiday season after the death of my partner.

Trouble is, there are good Christians and there are bad Christians, just as there are good therapists and bad therapists. And a mediocre therapist with some bad theology could really be harmful to a survivor.

However, I *totally* get the need to sort out the "God" issue, but I will flatly say this : Christians DO NOT have a corner on spirituality, nor do they have the One True Way . I've worked out some of my SA-related spiritual issues in the context of AA and though I was raised Southern Baptist and once considered myself Christian, I now follow a very different spiritual path.

Mabe I'm over-reacting - one would hope that your insurance company has done its job and carefully screened the psychologists in its network, but that's not always the case.

Just be careful and trust your BS detector.

Bearhugs to you.
ShyBear
 
As a pastor and abuse survivor, two statements in this thread truly appealed to me..

1)...a mediocre therapist with some bad theology could really be harmful to a survivor.

2)...Trust your BS monitor.


Actually, these two statements could be warning when approaching ANY new therapist...not just one who openly claims a religious affiliation.

I trust neither psycholigists who discount faith nor "believers" who discount psychology.

Of course, maybe I've just got issues with trust in general. :)

I am convinced healing requires a holistic approach--which includes spiritual health, so your leaning in that direction sounds constructive to me.

My advice: give this therapist a fair chance. After all you've got a good reference.

Things that I would would be wary of include:

--A therapist attempting to convert someone.

--A therapist accusing the victim of being guilty of sin.

--A therapist forcing forgiveness.

--A therapist who views homosexuality as sinful.

As I said, these things would bother me. On the other hand, others may have found that sort of religion helpful. So the trick is to be honest. Don't feel guilty for disagreeing with what you hear the therapist saying, just be open about it. If you feel judged for your feelings or expressing them, get out. BUT, that would be true for ANY therapist, wouldn't it?

ABOUT HEALING...

I declared myself healed in MAY, for the second time, but it felt different that time. I think I was right, but in December I fell into one of my worst episodes yet. Real anxiety. Did that mean I wasn't healed? I don't think so. After all, it had been over half a year AND I was able to get temporary help when trouble came. In other words, I'm coping, and I'm living fine. SA does not dominate my life anymore..it doesn't even come close.

Memories rear an ugly head from time to time, but I deal with it.

I guess for me healing has not so much meant putting it all behind me as much as putting it all in perspective.

That means that when I get news about my perp brother, the fact that it upsets me does not mean that I haven't healed. To pretend that triggers shouldn't bother me is to deny the pain involved.

Perspective/Healing: Let myself hurt when I'm hurt, but otherwise strive to enjoy life. (I know it's easier said than done, but the point is it IS possible, and so is healing.)
 
I need to concentrate on the primary emotional healing from this, but feel like I need to work on my spiritual healing as well.
Click to expand...
I also agree that feeding my spiritual needs does help. Some people confuse emotional weakness with spiritual weakness, though. We're the ones attacked, often by "Christian" relatives, priests, etc. And when we confront them or find the hypocracy difficult to deal with, we can sometimes be labeled the weak Christians. Then the therapy focuses on finding God rather than on dealing with our issues.

Personally, I think the two are parallel, but separate, paths. My minister doesn't cure cancer, and my doctor doesn't try to teach me the Bible. For me, I study the Bible, and I go to therapy.
 
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