New Memories of Betrayel

New Memories of Betrayel
F

FlyWM

Registrant
THe other night I remember a lot of new things, a great betrayal by my two best friends, happened long time ago, but it showed me why I don 't let people too close, why I am so scared to trust, it has taught me much, but hurts so bad you have no idea, not only was I hurt by so many other people, also by my best friends, makes me feel I deserved it all, I mean I must have, if not, why would so many people hurt me? Sorry to rant here, but this has been wieghing on me, it hurts so bad this new crap.

scott
 
Hi.

I don't think I've responcec to you before. I appologize for that. I have recently started using this site, and my work demands soemtimes 12 - 16 hours a day for a month at a time, so I am not always here.

I would like to tell you that I totally understand the frustration and sense of loss that you must be feeling. I too was betrayed - by teachers - coaches - relatives - and then by so many friends. And I competed in a world where my friends were also my competitors - and a lot of them were abusive - both their parents and themselves. IT IS SO WRONG THAT WE HAVE HAD TO EXPERIENCE SO MUCH OF THAT!!! IT IS JUST TOTALLY WRONG.

I wish for you to know that I understand your frustration. Sometoimes I don't know how it is possible for so many people to betray. But then I remember that our society is built on tghe idea of taking whatever you can and only for yourself - and that that kind of belief system naturally lends itself to people using betrayal as a means of keeping their lives about themselves. Trust that just because you know that kind of betrayal so well - - it is not a reflection of you in any way. It is the ugliness of people thinking of themselves first and going to the end of that belief - which is the acts of dragging other people down if it will hold them up a tad bit more. It is a reflection of ugly values - they are ordinary people - just like you andme - they just have bad morals. I take a lot of faith from the fact that there is a small faction of people who fight to be inclusive as opposed to exclusive. There I find people who act without betrayal.

You are brave to speak to this point. That you have known and seen a lot of people acting without concern for how it makes you feel is a terrible tragic set of circumstances. You - like I - have been unlucky in that we have known so many people like that. As my therapists said - if I met these people at a party - would I spend time with them - and the answer is no! I want to be around people who do not give themselves meaning by demeaning others.

You deserve better,

Asher
 
Scott,
it wasn't you. It was never you. Listen to Asher. A lot of times abusiveness runs in families, so if one relative is abusive, chances are the kid will run into other abuse from other people in the family. Also being abused makes us more vulnerable to further abuse, not because we are bad or deserve it, but because that is what we are tught by others that we deserve.

You can get through this pain. Hang in there.
Jim
 
Scott,

There is a lot to what Jim says. When a child's family does not protect him, or worse, abuses him, then he really has no place to turn. Abusive situations seem normal because they are commonplace. Just because something happens doesn't mean it's normal or it's right. It was so hard for me to see that the things I accepted as "normal" I accepted only because they were what I knew. With the mind of a child I created the world in which I lived for so long.

I hope you feel better soon.

Joe
 
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