New Memeber and Survivor

New Memeber and Survivor
S

SNAP Latino

Registrant
Hello everyone,
My name is Johnny Vega and i am 40 years old but, whose counting.
I am a hispanic male, born and raised in Paterson, New Jersey. I finally started to remember what has happened to me a year in a half ago while holding my son while trying to putting him back to sleep. Before that the Boston news about sexually abused victims started to surface sparking a bit of flash backs but, was not certain of my abuse that I endured as an altar boy at St. Johns Cathedral.
I was sexually abused by one "priests" at the age of 11 years old and one deacon at the age of 15 years old. It went on for about six years. How? Well most of my friends hung out at the church and worked there so I kept going there to hang with them. Not knowing that they were being abused also by the same Priests.
After three years, I finally worked up the nerve to tell a deacon who at the time was real kewl with the youth groups and retreats he held at that same church not knowing he was a molestor also.
I told him that Jose Alonso the priest that sexually abused me, that he was touching me and making me do things I felt very uncomfortable doing.
Well three weeks later, Carlos Guzman the "deacon" asked me to clean rooms at the convent across from the church and while in one of the rooms he came in and held my arms in a bear like hug and started to molest me. I was shocked and surprised by his move that it changed my whole life for the worst.
During the years of abuse by these two cowards, I had already started ways of forgetting what has happened that I would literally not remember what has happened to me. This made it easy for me to forget during my growings years.
I became a very violent person, joined gangs and became suicidal and not even know why I did most of the things I did.
Well now since remembering, I am now a SNAP member (survivors network for those abused by priests) and I am currently ready to host and founded the a new chapter of SNAP called SNAP Latino for hispanics and or anyone looking for help and healing in my old Home town and it's also for English or Spanish speaking people.
I am still struggling at time but, getting better I hope all you guys and gals are too.
 
Welcome Johnny,

It sounds like you have come a long way since your violent suicidal gang days. Keep it up.

Good Journeying,
Bill
 
Welcome, Johnny.

I have to say that it was the abuse scandal that made me finally face that. And though I was not abused by clergy, I appreciate the courage of SNAP.

We are all together, no matter who did this to us.

Peace,

Marc
 
Hey Johhny welcome. You will get a lot of support here from the guys and will have a lot to offer us too. So read post and join us.
I am really sorry for what has brought you to us but am glad you found us.
 
Hi Johnny and welcome.

I would recommend that you do not publicly display your home phone number. You could get to a point where you wished you had not done so. This is a world wide web we are on. Kooks have been known to come here from time to time.

Just hit the little writting pad at the top of your posts and delete the phone number. Then take it out of your signature. You will possibly save us all lots of trouble but most of all yourself.

THANK you for starting SNAP Latino--a good idea.

Peace to you.

Bob
 
Thank you for your suggestion Bob, it is not my home phone and I hear your concern for me. My personal phone number and address where we meet once a month is on SNAPs website for people who need help. I took it off from here. I did not want my number to cause everyone here trouble, so very sorry for that is the last thing I want for everyone. Please accept my apologies.
This is my first time doing alot of things that invloves getting to know new people that was abused in one way or another. Sometimes I get anxious and get ahead of myself.
I am still learning and hope to take time off from all this and recover from what I started to remember and sometimes wish I never did not start remembering because it hurts when I hear a different story about someone who was abused by a priest and triggers some type of memory of what I went through. At the same time I am glad in a sad way that because of those different stories I read and hear that I am able to help myself and others. Again I am sorry everyone.
 
Johhy you dont have to apologize believe me. You did not know and that is that. Hey I did it too. Your days of apologizing are over. You are taking control and dont forget that ok.
 
I am so impressed by your courage. Thank you for posting and being here. I hope to someday be as open as you are about your past and to hopefully go on to help others as you are doing.

It is incredible. Thanks again.

-Sean
 
Johnny,

Let me extend my welcome, too. I'm a transplanted Jersey guy, born in Newark. Moved away when I was very young, but went back nearly every summer to visit relatives.

It's great stuff you're doing, starting the new SNAP Latino chapter. It's probably long overdue, isn't it? Thanks for taking the initiative to help people.

I know what you mean about wishing you didn't start remembering. I was so good at avoiding remembering that when things started getting past my defenses, I found memory gaps I didn't know I had. I had always believed that I could remember if I wanted to, but didn't want to.

I know about getting anxious for no reason, too. I bet most of the people here know about that. It's encouraging to me that you can do something so good as starting SNAP Latino despite the effects of abuse on your own life. It proves that we're not damaged goods; we can make a positive contribution to the world.

Thanks,

Joe
 
Johnny,

I can't really add much to what the brothers have already said, except for welcome and I'm glad you're here, although I'm also very sorry for what you went through. I also greatly admire your courage and ability to turn your life around. It must be rough some days, but you're doing it, and that's a wonderful thing.

You're also not alone in repressing your memories. I was sexually abused and raped by a school guidance counselor (which explains why therapy was such a joy at first!) for a number of months, and I repressed it until recently. This experience, while I didn't remember it at the time, also led me to experiment sexually and, two years ago, I was raped as an adult.

The thing is, we're not alone, although we sometimes feel that way. As you've found, sadly, there are more of us out there than the world would care to admit. I for one am glad to meet you, my brother.

Now, when I first "meet"someone here, I always tell them something that may seem a bit much, but it's what we should've heard as kids, and we need to hear more of as adults. I love you, mi hermano, with no strings attached and nothing wanted in return.

Peace and love,

Scot
 
I appreciate all the support and kind words that you all have writen to me. I hear about sexual abuse on the news and through the media and I look hear and and cannot beleive the amount of people abused by priests!...it saddens me that Priests although not all, the people we are supposed to go to for forgiveness and guidence for spiritual healing are the very people doing the worst crime ever and yet, the Vatican can with no hesitation reinstate these "priests" knowing full well that they will do it again!
I am sorry for expressing a bit of anger but, why? Why must they prey on young kids? Why are they being so protected by the Diocese? Most important, why are they being reinstated as priests and placed back in churches just to start all over again and ruin young kids lives.
The diocese claims that because of "old church laws" it gives them the right to reinstate them back into the church. I say, what about Gods law? What about the right thing to do in this the of age. Using the old law is going to be outlawed soon and they will no longer be able to hide behind "old Laws"! Man this angers me alot and I hope all of you can understand my anger. We are currently winning so far on getting rid of or amend an "old law" that protects the Church from being sued. The charitable immunity law stops many lawyers from taking on the church because they know that no matter how horrible the crime the church will always claim that they cannot be sued because of the Charitble Immunity law. Well guys and gals an appelate court in NJ has ruled that the institution being sued cannot use the charitable immunity law as a defense and will have to dealwith defending themselves a different way. ( See how my anger is turning to happiness now!). I applaud the person who is suing this institution for not giving up and stuck to his guns. I can only hope that I and others in the same lawsuit get the same justice. Brothers, I again do not mean to vent on all of you. you guys are brave and have tthe courage to take this most important stage so i hope you understand and can be patient with me. Thank you!
 
Johnny
It's a very brave move to be active in a group such as SNAP, but without these groups the abuse would continue unabated.

I hope that MS has something to offer you as well.

Take care
Dave
 
Hi Johnny,

Welcome my brother. I too was molested by two priests. I'm so glad you've chosen to join us. It will be very heartening to hear your words and to be a small part of your journey.

I also lived in NJ for many years and one of my molesters is still a priest in your diocese though he's in a religious order. You will find warm hearts here Johnny. We all wish you well.

Taz
 
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