New Member's Story

New Member's Story
Peter,

You said
I do need time to talk about all this, but this is nearly the only place where I can do so. I do have a therapist, but the time there goes by so quickly.
Click to expand...
Feel free to post any time you want. It can be so healing to "get it out there", and interact with the rest of us on the things that are on your mind.

That's what we're here for friend.

Courage,

John
 
John,

Thanks much, man. After a lifetime (or at least the last 40 years) of keeping this all buried, it's so strange to be able to "talk" about it here with people who understand, who really understand. It's a huge help.

I appreciate you and everyone else here so much. You guys are great.

Peter
 
Peter
you said something very interesting when your wife asked you whether you were relived on the birth of your girls, because...
I myself felt guilty over having feelings for kids, I feared I would abuse them.
Long before I discovered my abuse, I was playing with my nephew and he was very fond of me, and then one day, I got aroused. I blamed myself for that for years, only later realised that it was after effect of abuse. I have learnt to forgive myself.
The same thing happened with a loving friend, and I withdrew, but now I am able to say, It is not my fault, just a cross connection which is fading gradually.
 
Peter,

First-off, Welcome to MS! I am only an infrequent visitor (I still can't face my feelings, most days), so apologize in advance for my late 'Welcome'.
Betrayal of Trust is a VERY commone theme in SA, I believe. Whether it is betrayal by a Friend, Relative, Parental Figure, Spiritual/Teaching Figure, Stranger, etc., it still disembowels us in the years to come...
How can ANYEONE be that Goddamn selfish/cruel/evil, we ask!?
Sad Fact is, there is a LOT of selfish/cruel/evil people out there in the world. We, as Survivors, were unfortunate enough to cross Paths with them.
Loosing Faith in your Theology. That, too, is a common thread in SA... If there IS a 'God', how can HE/SHE allow such horrible things to happen!?
Find the answer to that one, and yer AGES ahead of the rest of us!
I gave up on most human-related Theologies. Too hypocritical for me.
I am a Pagan by nature. Gia, 'Mother Earth', is a living, breathing thing. Something I can see, touch, feel, taste, etc..
No matter which Path you choose/find, may you ever find Peace and Support with it!

I wish you all the best in your Healing Path. I hope that you find the support and help MS can provide during your Journey!

Whicker
 
Whicker,

Thanks much for the welcome. The support here is beyond belief. It's been a real help already in these first two weeks. I can relate to much of what you wrote, but I can really connect with Esse Quam Videri.

For a long time there's been a small piece of marble on my desk inscribed "Illegitimi Non Carborundum" (Never Let the Bastards Get You Down.) Some days it works...

Thanks again and take care, man.

Peter
 
hugs

glad you are here peter
thanks for sharing

mj
 
Mike,

Thanks for the welcome. I've responded to your PM and hope to hear back. Lots of new developments during the past few weeks, which I hope to be able to convey to this group soon. I could really use some guidance and support.

Peter
 
Peter,

Hi again, and thankyou for what you share. You help us all in the process as we get to think about our own lives and yours. I hope you realise you are a great help and comfort to others as well. This is not a one way street.

Take care.
 
Grunty,

Thanks again. I appreciate the kind words, and I want very much to contribute something equal to the benefit I gain from being able to be completely open with a group of guys who actually understand. I'm too tired tonight, but in the next few nights, I'll post again to share a really remarkable conversation with a friend from childhood...someone else who was a target for my abuser. It was really good. Also want to share some other stuff that's really troubling, but not tonight.

I'll be back here soon. I can't tell y'all how much it means to me to be able to connect here.

Thanks again, man. Take care.

Peter
 
Hi Peter

I have found your story very touching. You have done well for yourself. I have fallen off the perch. Inspirational stuff.

Thanks
AJ
 
AJ,

I'm humbled. If something in my story is of any help to you, I'm really happy about that. I feel like I need to make some emotional deposits here, as I feel like I've made a lot of withdrawals by drawing strength from support provided by everyone here. So if you read something that somehow is touching or inspirational and that is a help to you, I'm very pleased.

I'm just another guy struggling to make sense of this mess and trying to make what's left of my life better...just like you and everyone else here. Some days are better than others.

Take care, man.

Peter
 
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