New Member
Hello all,
Just posting to introduce myself. Like all of you here I was abused while I was a kid, and I am currently just coming to grips with all that this entails. I suppose that I am fairly lucky that I am beginning to come to grips with this while I am fairly young (24), but it sure doesn't seem that way sometimes.
I was abused by an older kid when I was eight (he was about 15) at the home of my mothers friend who frequently watched me while my mother was away at work. I don't recall exactly how long this went on, the memories of that time are a bit hazy, but probably not more than a year or so. Eventually the friends father died, and my mom's friend could no longer watch me, so it ended.
I didn't even begin to realize the entierity of what had happened until years later, and it was years later still that I was able to admit it to myself, let alone someone else.
During that time depression, anger problems, and even suicide attempt were highly common, and I never realized how hard it must have been to be my friend during that time. All they knew was that I was depressed and suicidal and not why.
When I was in college I finally came across a couple of books about male survivors. That coupled by another serious bout of depression in which all of my friends were concerened enough to arrive at my room en masse to make sure I didn't hurt myself made me realize that I should take advantage of the schools counciling services.
Going there was arguably the hardest thing I have ever done, but looking back I am so glad that I did it.
This was only a year or so ago and I am currently a graduate student at the same school so I am still seeing the therapist. Apparently it is showing some good. At my last session I realized that I have finally begun to move past the point where I blamed myself for the abuse.
I suppose I am rather lucky, my abuse and the afterafects aren't nearly as bad as some here, but I still wanted to thank you all for your bravery to write about your experiences becuase reading them really has helped me to realize that I am not alone.
I also wanted to thank the creators and moderators of this site. I have been lurking here for a couple of days, and reading about the struggles of the people brave enough to post about them has helped me tremendously. Several have even brought tears to my eyes, which sais quite a bit considering that I have emotionally shut myself off for sixteen years (uless anger and full out rage count.)
Thank you all for helping a lost soul feel a little less alone.
Just posting to introduce myself. Like all of you here I was abused while I was a kid, and I am currently just coming to grips with all that this entails. I suppose that I am fairly lucky that I am beginning to come to grips with this while I am fairly young (24), but it sure doesn't seem that way sometimes.
I was abused by an older kid when I was eight (he was about 15) at the home of my mothers friend who frequently watched me while my mother was away at work. I don't recall exactly how long this went on, the memories of that time are a bit hazy, but probably not more than a year or so. Eventually the friends father died, and my mom's friend could no longer watch me, so it ended.
I didn't even begin to realize the entierity of what had happened until years later, and it was years later still that I was able to admit it to myself, let alone someone else.
During that time depression, anger problems, and even suicide attempt were highly common, and I never realized how hard it must have been to be my friend during that time. All they knew was that I was depressed and suicidal and not why.
When I was in college I finally came across a couple of books about male survivors. That coupled by another serious bout of depression in which all of my friends were concerened enough to arrive at my room en masse to make sure I didn't hurt myself made me realize that I should take advantage of the schools counciling services.
Going there was arguably the hardest thing I have ever done, but looking back I am so glad that I did it.
This was only a year or so ago and I am currently a graduate student at the same school so I am still seeing the therapist. Apparently it is showing some good. At my last session I realized that I have finally begun to move past the point where I blamed myself for the abuse.
I suppose I am rather lucky, my abuse and the afterafects aren't nearly as bad as some here, but I still wanted to thank you all for your bravery to write about your experiences becuase reading them really has helped me to realize that I am not alone.
I also wanted to thank the creators and moderators of this site. I have been lurking here for a couple of days, and reading about the struggles of the people brave enough to post about them has helped me tremendously. Several have even brought tears to my eyes, which sais quite a bit considering that I have emotionally shut myself off for sixteen years (uless anger and full out rage count.)
Thank you all for helping a lost soul feel a little less alone.
