New member here
aussiebattler
New Registrant
Hi All,
I found this site via a few forum topics that popped up online while I was researching the “how and why’s” that I find myself thinking about almost weekly. I was sexually abused as a young teenager, it went in for 4 years. I’m 46 now, married with 2 teenagers. The older I get, the more I question what happened to me and why. I also find myself coping in obscure ways…the main one focussed on shame and guilt. Not that I, or any of us should feel guilt, it seems to feel like guilt for whatever reason. I find if I remind myself of the shame and the guilt, and have a few bad days, I come out the other side feeling better. As odd as it sounds, it’s almost like I relive the pain, again and again, to make myself feel better. An example is flashbacks and nightmares/dreams. If I go over bad memories for a day or two, I find it reduces the dreams I have that can be very explicit regarding my abuse. I guess I’m looking to share and read other people’s experiences and coping mechanisms. I been through counselling and often visit a psychologist, but I find that type of help very textbook and generic. Forums on here have real experiences, however weird they may be, that I feel relate to what the abuse has actually done to the brain. An article by Joe Kort that was mentioned in here has helped me feel more at ease in understanding ‘sexual distortion’ and how common it can be for survivors. Anyway, I’m on a journey to interpret my mind and hopefully find some peace at the other end.
I hope everyone is coping as best they can.
Cheers,
Aussiebattler
I found this site via a few forum topics that popped up online while I was researching the “how and why’s” that I find myself thinking about almost weekly. I was sexually abused as a young teenager, it went in for 4 years. I’m 46 now, married with 2 teenagers. The older I get, the more I question what happened to me and why. I also find myself coping in obscure ways…the main one focussed on shame and guilt. Not that I, or any of us should feel guilt, it seems to feel like guilt for whatever reason. I find if I remind myself of the shame and the guilt, and have a few bad days, I come out the other side feeling better. As odd as it sounds, it’s almost like I relive the pain, again and again, to make myself feel better. An example is flashbacks and nightmares/dreams. If I go over bad memories for a day or two, I find it reduces the dreams I have that can be very explicit regarding my abuse. I guess I’m looking to share and read other people’s experiences and coping mechanisms. I been through counselling and often visit a psychologist, but I find that type of help very textbook and generic. Forums on here have real experiences, however weird they may be, that I feel relate to what the abuse has actually done to the brain. An article by Joe Kort that was mentioned in here has helped me feel more at ease in understanding ‘sexual distortion’ and how common it can be for survivors. Anyway, I’m on a journey to interpret my mind and hopefully find some peace at the other end.
I hope everyone is coping as best they can.
Cheers,
Aussiebattler
