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Mama52

New Registrant
Hello,
Just wanted to say Hi, thank everyone for their posts and share a bit of my situation.
My son is in his early 20s, has struggled with some depression/anxiety/ADHD like symptoms and has seemed pretty stuck in life. Therapy and meds never seemed to really help much--but we now know he never really opened up on therapy until this past year.
Just a few weeks ago, he finally opened up to us and shared that he was molested around age 9 or 10 by another boy. He said he didn't even understand what was going on and felt deep shame, and then even more shame by not being able to tell us. Then about a year ago, he was drugged and sexually assaulted and also hit by a man who groomed him for about a month. He did tell some friends a few months later, who were very supportive of him. Fortunately we were also both very supportive and over the next couple of days he was able to share more and really, really break down to me and feel supported and open up. I'm absolutely horrified that this happened (i know it's common) and so worried and concerned for him. Now his dad and I understand so much better why he's been so stuck for so long. Thanks for reading.
 
I'm sorry these experiences happened to your son and applaud you and your partner for connecting here and trying to find resources that can help your son.

You mentioned that he never opened up to a therapist about this stuff.

Hoping he is seeing a trauma informed therapist thst has tools they are trained in to help. If he has memories with trauma attached there are specific therapies that can help.

Having him join here and tell his story in this safe place can also be a part of the healing journey. Understanding he is not the only man that has had sexual abuse impact them.
 
Thank you. He started seeing a therapist soon after it happened, not sure if she's "trauma informed" or not. Once he told us about the trauma, I said no wonder the meds and therapy in the past didn't help--the doctors trying to help you didn't really know what they were even treating! That seemed to help him a bit and be more hopeful about how therapy can help him going forward. I found a male survivor group for him, but it was full and did find an EMDR therapist too who could see him in 1-2 months.
 
He can join an in-person group if there is one near him. He can benefit from this group and discuss things going on right here.

There are some great male survivors right here that are ready to listen and stories to read to help him connect.

EMDR has personally worked very well for me to remove the trauma behind memories. Hopefully this EMDR therapist will also be his regular therapist so he builds a relationship and can open completely over time.

I also have an ADHD diagnosis and some symptoms of Autism.
 
I am so sorry to hear of the abuse your son suffered. I am a survivor also a parent of adult children. so, I can identify with both you and your son. He is very welcome here in MS and hopefully he will visit this site. It is hard for abuse survivors, we feel so alone even with a loving and supportive family, it is very helpful to connect with other survivors. You mentioned EMDR, I have done a lot of EMDR therapy and found it to be very helpful, I hope it will also benefit you son. I am glad that you are there for your son and doing so much to help him. I know it is heart breaking to know your son was abused, but I know you also providing much needed support. Take care.
 
I don't know where to start except I need support.
December 18 2023 my son shared of his sexual abuse at the hands of my own brother.
As a result, I lost my whole family- they all supported my brother.
I support my son 100% and he is getting the help he needs.
I am so crushed in all aspects of life. This mama bear is hurting.
 
Hello,
Just wanted to say Hi, thank everyone for their posts and share a bit of my situation.
My son is in his early 20s, has struggled with some depression/anxiety/ADHD like symptoms and has seemed pretty stuck in life. Therapy and meds never seemed to really help much--but we now know he never really opened up on therapy until this past year.
Just a few weeks ago, he finally opened up to us and shared that he was molested around age 9 or 10 by another boy. He said he didn't even understand what was going on and felt deep shame, and then even more shame by not being able to tell us. Then about a year ago, he was drugged and sexually assaulted and also hit by a man who groomed him for about a month. He did tell some friends a few months later, who were very supportive of him. Fortunately we were also both very supportive and over the next couple of days he was able to share more and really, really break down to me and feel supported and open up. I'm absolutely horrified that this happened (i know it's common) and so worried and concerned for him. Now his dad and I understand so much better why he's been so stuck for so long. Thanks for reading.
@Mama52

I am sorry to read of what your son has lived. I am very happy to read you and his father have been there for him over the years. A survivor does not tell of their abuse because of the internal shame they carry. Then there is a time when they share. Your son has shared and you are there for him. You son should find professional help so he can best navigate the emotions and feelings he will experience as he tries to recover. You and his Dad should also speak with a professional so you can best support him. Survivors need support but there are times when well meaning words are hard for a survivor to accept. My own experience, I found comfort in a smile and in time a hug (as touch could trigger the memories).

I applaud your support and wish your son the best as he travels the journey to recover. One day he will realize the shame and guilt is not his but that belongs to the abuser. He needs to be kind to himself as you do for yourselves.

Kevin
 
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