new here and wondering if I should be...

new here and wondering if I should be...
D

dibargib

Registrant
So I've recently resigned myself to the idea that I may have been abused. I remember one moment, which I'll share with you now:

I was maybe 10, certainly younger than 13, and was watching a movie on the second floor of my house to get away from my parents, who were arguing (only child, I am). My BorderlinePD mother comes into the room and sits down next to me. She sits for a while, and says, "one day, when you're older, you're going to be sitting with a girl just like this, and you're going to put your arm around her [and she grabbed my arm and put it around her], and she'll put her hand on your thigh [and she did so], and then you'll take your fingers and go [and she made some sound like the pushing of a button as she grabbed my other hand, took my fingers, and briefly probed her crotch]."

I think... i THINK this only happened once, but I also think it was a physical manifestation of what really underlied our relationship - she dressed me as a girl one time, I remember, and she'd take me on little 'dates' to the movies...

Anyway, all of this has come up because of... intimacy... problems, and I started looking into it because my gf is a survivor, and reading I found that I may very well be one too...

so...

here I am...

(do the search engines index this forum?)

John
 
John,

I'm glad you found us, and yes, MS is indexed on Google and other search engines. Just search for "Male Survivor" and it ought to come out at the top of the list (at least on Google it does).

The things you describe your mother doing already comprise abuse bro. Sexual abuse isn't necessarily about penetration or performance of specific sexual acts, it is all about one person's misuse of their power over another person (in your case parent/child) for their own sexual gratification. This alone is enough to cause a boy problems that will carry on into adulthood.

Look around the site and see what is going on, and you will soon figure out a pace that is comfortable for you to make use of MS and benefit from it. It helps a lot to talk and say what is bothering you, but don't feel rushed.

We are all here to deal with our own issues but also to support the others. You aren't alone.

Much love,
Larry
 
Hey,

Welcome to you John, from another John.

I'm glad you found us. This is a special place where guys seem to care about each other more than anywhere else I've ever been. It's sad, the bond that we have, but I'm glad for these guys here. They've come to mean a lot to me.

Larry has some good advise in his reply. Take things at a pace you're comfortable with, and we'll help you with anything we can.

Lots of love,

John
 
Hello John,

Im glad you found us, even though it seems by chance as you ask about the Google indexing. I also found MaleSurvivor.com by chance and Im so glad I did. This has been a lifesaver for me and the road to recovery.

Ive learnt so much in my short time here (6 months) and Ive been believed, accepted and helped by the guys here (this includes the great guys above whove already replied to you: Larry, John & Andrew).

You mention your uncertainty as to whether you were abused. Can I re-quote you?
Anyway, all of this has come up because of... intimacy... problems----------and reading I found that I may very well be one too...
Click to expand...
Sad to say, but youve already seen the symptoms John but this will all be a part of your recovery.

I dont want to be the bringer of doom and gloom news but as you take these courageous steps in learning about that wrong things that were done to you your emotions will most likely take you on a bit of a wild ride. John, hang in and keep on going. You deserve to get well and work through this.

Can I extend a warm handshake and say welcome!
 
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