New guy here...
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New guy here...
- Thread starterJaysen
- Start date
it was a relief, mainly because it explained a lot, and it was instant relief to know i hadnt just lured my friend into the bushes of my own accord. all those years i kept wondering if i had some defective gene or something that made me crave sex so much, and from such an early age. remembering explained a lot.
wow, woke up in the hospital, that had to be bad. someome hurt you very bad. i'm sorry. try and give yourself a break. you know we were kids. kids are trusting and innocent. they lack the knowledge to process stuff the way adults do. man when i went back, it was a real eye opener because i lived it as a kid again, and i finally understood that i didnt have a clue. children just dont have the knowledge it takes to keep things like this from happening.
wow, woke up in the hospital, that had to be bad. someome hurt you very bad. i'm sorry. try and give yourself a break. you know we were kids. kids are trusting and innocent. they lack the knowledge to process stuff the way adults do. man when i went back, it was a real eye opener because i lived it as a kid again, and i finally understood that i didnt have a clue. children just dont have the knowledge it takes to keep things like this from happening.
roadrunner
Registrant
Jay,
I know what you mean. You don't think it was your fault, but your mother told you, "How could you be so stupid to let something like this happen to you!"
That's a classic situation my friend, and we have all felt it. What it amounts to is this: we know something to be true intellectually (not my fault), but we don't yet believe it in our hearts. But that too will come.
Much love,
Larry
I know what you mean. You don't think it was your fault, but your mother told you, "How could you be so stupid to let something like this happen to you!"
That's a classic situation my friend, and we have all felt it. What it amounts to is this: we know something to be true intellectually (not my fault), but we don't yet believe it in our hearts. But that too will come.
Much love,
Larry
Phoster, so as bad as it was to have it all come back and hit you like that at least something good came out of it...
I agree, kids are trusting and innocent and it's real easy for an adult to manipulate them. But I wasn't a kid, I was 15 going on 16. I was old enough to know better than to put myself in a situation like I did. Does that mean I deserved it? Hell no! But I could have prevented it.
Larry, yes that's a great way to explain it, I guess I don't really believe it in my heart. Not yet.
Thanks!
Jay
I agree, kids are trusting and innocent and it's real easy for an adult to manipulate them. But I wasn't a kid, I was 15 going on 16. I was old enough to know better than to put myself in a situation like I did. Does that mean I deserved it? Hell no! But I could have prevented it.
Larry, yes that's a great way to explain it, I guess I don't really believe it in my heart. Not yet.
Thanks!
Jay
Grunty1967b
Registrant
Jay,
Im so glad youve been given so much great input and support by the guys here. Wanted to highlight something you said in your last post
Ive recently recalled that when I was 16 a I was in a situation where an older man took advantage of me and did sexual things to me that I thought until recently was my idea or at the very least, that I let happen.
As I think about it now, I feel sickened, upset and angry at him. Im repulsed at those thoughts and they still bring me much pain. Thats not the reaction of a young teen just having premeditated sex with a person of and in a situation of their choosing. It was still abuse and I was still at the trail end of the abuse years in my life.
Im finding out so much about the way I think and act and I have (just) a few years on you, had been caused by the abuse. Jay, none of it was your fault. I see the you that was still in a very hurting place and so deeply affected by the abuse. Be kind to yourself.
Im so glad youve been given so much great input and support by the guys here. Wanted to highlight something you said in your last post
Jay, something youll discover on this journey of recovery is how so many parts of our lives get messed up and distorted by the abuse, and at 15 or 16 I hardly think youd be considered an adult, let alone being a person who has been able to work through all this stuff and reprogram your brain and your way of thinking.I was old enough to know better than to put myself in a situation like I did. Does that mean I deserved it? Hell no! But I could have prevented it.
Ive recently recalled that when I was 16 a I was in a situation where an older man took advantage of me and did sexual things to me that I thought until recently was my idea or at the very least, that I let happen.
As I think about it now, I feel sickened, upset and angry at him. Im repulsed at those thoughts and they still bring me much pain. Thats not the reaction of a young teen just having premeditated sex with a person of and in a situation of their choosing. It was still abuse and I was still at the trail end of the abuse years in my life.
Im finding out so much about the way I think and act and I have (just) a few years on you, had been caused by the abuse. Jay, none of it was your fault. I see the you that was still in a very hurting place and so deeply affected by the abuse. Be kind to yourself.
Thanks Grunty, yeah I've gotten more support and help here in one week than I have in four years! It's amazing...
I'm sorry that it happened to you too and that you're in pain trying to deal with it.
Thanks for saying it wasn't my fault, I don't really believe it was my fault, I'm about 80% sure that it wasn't. But my mothers words really stuck in my head. I keep going back, reliving it, back to the moment before I got in that guys car and I think about all the different things I could have done... But thinking that way doesn't help me now, I can't change what I did or what happened.
Thanks again,
Jay
I'm sorry that it happened to you too and that you're in pain trying to deal with it.
Thanks for saying it wasn't my fault, I don't really believe it was my fault, I'm about 80% sure that it wasn't. But my mothers words really stuck in my head. I keep going back, reliving it, back to the moment before I got in that guys car and I think about all the different things I could have done... But thinking that way doesn't help me now, I can't change what I did or what happened.
Thanks again,
Jay
Jay I was 15 when a teacher strated doing sexual things to me.I was so ready to tell my father untill he asked did he try anything with you? But before I could answer my father said I proberly would have injoyed it.To this day my father does not know but after many years I am getting help.This site helps me I am not alone. Bill
DodgeChallenger
Registrant
Jaysen,
I was just 15 when I had my experience. My body may have looked 17-18 but my mind, my emotions, my self image were still only a few days past my 15th birthday. I was a kid with muscles and she took advantage of me and my friend. I was not old enough to truly protect myself from someone with so much power. Neither were you.
I'm here if you need me.
Jake
I was just 15 when I had my experience. My body may have looked 17-18 but my mind, my emotions, my self image were still only a few days past my 15th birthday. I was a kid with muscles and she took advantage of me and my friend. I was not old enough to truly protect myself from someone with so much power. Neither were you.
I'm here if you need me.
Jake