New for the new year - trigger warning

newAJ22

Registrant
I decided with the new year it was finally time to sign up. Here is a brief intro about me. My abuse happened when I was 10-12. He was one of my youth baseball coaches. He often took me home from practices or games when my mom wasn't able to. This is when most of the abuse took place. There were a few other times but mostly it was in his truck before he dropped me off at home. I struggled with many emotions in the years after. It's been about 20 years and I feel like I am in a good place now. Healing is a continual process and I hope I can help others as well.
 

Greybeard

Registrant
Welcome! I hope you find this site helpful. I have found it really interesting to see what gets discussed, and learning that many of the issues I deal with are common among survivors. It can be as helpful to read other people's posts as it is to post something yourself. Take pride in being open enough to share your trauma, that is an achievement in itself.
 

The Bluefoot

Registrant
Welcome, we are all here to listen and help. Read our stories yoy find you are not alone here. I was abused by 7 different people from age 6.5 to 17.5 the closes to what may have happened to you would have been at 9 to 9.5 age. I am always here to talk privately. Thanks for telling what you can do far
 
Welcome. I'm glad to hear that you are in a good place now. I just read your story, it would've been my worst nightmare to be found out back then. Did they have you speak to any therapists back then at 12 when first found out, where they even helpful back then? I'm glad to hear that the perp was caught and did some time, that's a rare thing.
 

newAJ22

Registrant
Welcome. I'm glad to hear that you are in a good place now. I just read your story, it would've been my worst nightmare to be found out back then. Did they have you speak to any therapists back then at 12 when first found out, where they even helpful back then? I'm glad to hear that the perp was caught and did some time, that's a rare thing.
I went to two different therapists when I was in my teens. I was an angry kid and didn't put into it what I should have. It did help some but having to talk about sexual things at that age was an awful experience.
 
Sorry to hear that, I'm sure that I would've felt traumatized being made to talk about it as a kid. Even these days I bet it's still a gamble to find a knowledgeable & experienced therapist in male csa, and that the two personalities and agendas mesh well.
 

Bornfree

Registrant
I tried talking to my parents about why my doc had to do a rectal exam when I was sick,(age12) but no one wanted to hear about it. It hurt like bloody hell what he did, and yet I'm sure he enjoyed feeling my butt cheek and inside me, even though my father was standing right there. He got away with so much. Then, in hospital, there were the nurses who ignored my pleas for help regarding my seizures I was having. I didn't know what they were, but they bothered me. Again at home, told to shut up, stop talking about those things and that everyone who gets the flu can sometimes have those things happen to them! What a friggin lye!
 

CalabrianBambino

Registrant
I read ur complete story and I commend ur bravery to report the abuse to ur parents, stopping him from doing anything else to other boys. I’m 19 and so when I read ur story and saw that the perpetrator is 19 it resonated with me a lot. I may not be a perfect 19 year old, but just reading the questions he asked was disturbing to me. No healthy teenager asks what type of underwear a kid is wearing, or asks any sexual questions that’s disgusting. I hope for healing in ur journey, and I thank u for being brave enough to stop it.
 

newAJ22

Registrant
I may not be a perfect 19 year old, but just reading the questions he asked was disturbing to me. No healthy teenager asks what type of underwear a kid is wearing, or asks any sexual questions that’s disgusting.
Exactly but he knew what he was doing. The conversation about underwear opened the door to more sexual questions and it slowly progressed from there. He groomed me so as time went on what we did almost felt normal. I knew it was wrong but it became so routine. It's difficult to fully process it all when you are that age.
 

CalabrianBambino

Registrant
Exactly but he knew what he was doing. The conversation about underwear opened the door to more sexual questions and it slowly progressed from there. He groomed me so as time went on what we did almost felt normal. I knew it was wrong but it became so routine. It's difficult to fully process it all when you are that age.
Yes no question that he groomed u and used sexual questions to open the doors into what happened. In my situation it was the same thing — sexual questions that opened the doors, teenage years of aggression, slipping into introversion, etc. Did u have a court-ordered therapist after u reported him?
 

newAJ22

Registrant
Yes no question that he groomed u and used sexual questions to open the doors into what happened. In my situation it was the same thing — sexual questions that opened the doors, teenage years of aggression, slipping into introversion, etc. Did u have a court-ordered therapist after u reported him?
Yes I went to therapy right after and off and on through my teen years. It helped some but I struggled with it especially early on. I was 12 and talking about sexual things was so awkward for me. It did get better as I got older.
 
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