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Yesterday evening, I happened to be driving by the same tree that I had taken a picture of before and used for my first avatar here, which was my symbol of myself and recovery for years -- a bare tree that had been cut away to protect a power line running through it.

Now, in late spring, the tree is full of leaves instead of barren as it was in the winter.

I had to get rid of the "big rock" avatar from Monument Valley, because 1) it reminded me of the relationship that ended because I went there with her, and 2) because I don't feel like a rock any more.

I feel like this tree again. Like there's a part of me missing, literally a victim of power.

But unlike the first avatar image, I will concede that there's been some growth where I'm still able to grow: intellectually, creatively, professionally -- even as my personal life and sexual life remain a black hole.

Also, because of the time of evening of this shot, the road and the yellow stripe is more visible... indicating the journey that I'm on, whether it's a short trip around dead-man's curve or a longer marathon. Whatever it is, I am accepting it and trying to endure.

But I am not a rock, and the feeling that I was a rock during the relationship was either 1) an illusion, or 2) something that the relationship made me feel whole for the first time in my life, only to be ripped away from me, leaving me feeling empty again, acutely aware of what I'm missing from life and what I can't seem to make right.

I'm doing the best I can, but I'm struggling. My return to MS is a testament to my level of struggle. When I'm doing better, I try to stay away... but I always come back because this is the only place where I feel understood.

Without MS, I wouldn't have made it this far.

Cant
 
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Thank you for posting this, Can't. Your avatar image is wonderful. I especially like its connection to your first avatar, and the way that describes your personal growth. I recognize the void for what it is; but now growth seems inevitable, if difficult.

I'm sorry you are having troubles. But I'm very glad to see you again. Your writing is always poetic and insightful, and full of deep analysis.

All my best to you,

GT
 
Cant -

it is getting to be a tradition for me to comment on your avatar pix. i like this one best. it is living and growing. even though "a rock feels no pain. and an island never cries." and of course i am a push-over for journey metaphors - so the road is good, too. even though you have lost something - you have gained something too, i believe.

carry on...
LEE
 
Thanks, guys.

I'm having a tough time, and it's good to come here and get some positive feedback that I can trust.

It's 10:00 on a Saturday night and I'm alone. Everyone I know has paired off for the evening. All I have is myself, and for what it's worth, you guys. I have you.

It means everything.

Cant
 
Hi Can't,

I can't help but mention that I have always heard the tree cutting to keep growth clear of the power lines as crotch cuts. I feel happy for you that you have grown from rock, to bare tree, to tree fully leafed but with its center cut out. I wonder if perhaps there is a full and majestic old growth tree in you that can be uncovered in time. I find that as I am able to release more of the scene of the crime stuff my thinking changes.

Sending you love and good will.

Don
 
"Crotch cut." Great. Even the name evokes castration, which wasn't exactly what I had in mind when identifying with it, but in a painful way it makes perfect sense.

I've been crotch cut from myself.

Cant
 
I've been crotch cut from myself too, Can't. I did not mean to cause you any distress with my post. And, am sorry if I did. I so identified with your progressions that it just came out. Please accept my apology if I caused you any pain.

Don
 
It triggered me, for sure. But no need to apologize. It was good to hear once I processed it.

Thanks for taking the time to respond to me.

Cant
 
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