New and lost

New and lost
R

RememberingInMN

Registrant
I just found this site.. Have spent the last four hours reading and crying. I have felt so alone for so long.. not sure what to say about what happened. not sure what to say about what I have been remembering. i can't stop crying because I know i am not crazy anymore. The nightmares. the panic attacks. the noises that freak me out.. the smells that make my heart pound. Started having flashes three years ago.. scenes like I was watching a movie in my head. always wondering why I couldn't remember anything until I was 7. telling my sister what I thought had happened and her telling me I was crazy. It was just another one of my lies. my stories. waking up and not being able to breathe. not knowing why i would feel like I was outside myself when I was sexual with someone. I have been going nuts this last year because nobody will believe me, even my own wife and it keeps coming back stronger and more intense and in more detail.. i just want to know I am not alone and I am not crazy. somebody please tell me I am not crazy. sorry i am rambling i just don't know where to begin or go. anyone out there who can help me talk through this? Please?
 
You're not crazy. Remembering is a painful process. At least it was for me. I never forgot, per se, what had happened. But there were elements of it that I forgot or tried to. Just so I could manage to go on living. I think it's just a coping mechanism we develop.

I got wonderful help from reading Mike Lew's books down at my local library. Maybe that can help you, too. Anyway, I haven't been here in a long time and I'm sure there are guys who can and will give you better feedback. But I'll just say welcome and take care of yourself. You're among friends.
 
Hey you're not crazy, welcome to the board.

Take your time to read the posts or not, depending on how you feel.

We all think we are crazy, and then we come here and find people who have shared the same thing.

Post when you are ready, or read the posts, when you feel you can, some can be horrendous, but it is nice to know you are finally not alone.

The healing process starts here, by sharing out thoughts and experiences;

peace

ste
 
Rememberinginmn.

No you are not alone and you are certainly not crazy. I wouldnt know where to begin talking you through it but I know some people who can and thats the guys here who are far better equiped than I.

I said in another post recently that "I have no answers only experiences".

Stay close to the room, there is a wealth of knowledge in here.

Archnut
"And all that was left was hope"

My Story (TRIGGERS)
https://www.waltonhop.blogspot.com
 
Hey, Remembering,

I'm sorry for the reasons that you went looking for a place like this, but we are glad that you found us.

I'm one of the guys who believes that this site, and the men, herein, saved my life. It was the life ring that I grabbed onto that night in March, well over a year ago, now.

I've been to a conference, a retreat and am in group and doing one on one every week. Sound like overkill. I don't think so. You see, I had my therapy many years ago when no one realized the impact of this crap.

I finally have the right guy to help me through all of this. And the guys, here, what can I say?
Some of them are my best friends. Some outsiders don't believe that, either. But it doesn't hurt like the other stuff has. They just don't know what a real friend is like.

Listen to these good guys, you'll find much to take away, much to absorb into your own healing.
And, that's what's happening for you, right now, healing. Once your able to turn and look this thing right in the eye, that's when you start down your road to recovery...and you have and you are...on that road. You don't mind if a couple of us tag along, do you?

Peace, strength and courage,

David
 
Thank you very much. Considering the last time I remember crying was when I was thirteen this is all so intense... Thank you so much for letting me know I am not alone.. thank you
 
Remembering
I remember the intensity when I started my recovery back in 1999, it felt so overpowering at the time that I seriously wondered if continuing was worth it.
I can assure you it is worth it, and the intensity you feel now will soon ease off as you learn to redirect that power to healing.
The intensity of feeling you describe takes a lot of mental effort to sustain, and that effort can be used to positive effect.

So stick with us, and when you feel ready think about therapy. I don't think we can heal on our own, and a therapist who specializes in abused adults, or at least has good experience of guys like us, is in my view essential. But that has to be your choice when you feel it's right.

The inmportant thing now is knowing that you're not alone, that's also a feeling I can remember - a wonderful and liberating feeling.

Take care
Dave
 
Remembering,

Welcome home. I know how you are feeling with the relief of knowing you are not crazy.

I just started dealing with this about four months ago and I thank God I found this site. I have had some amazing support here. Anyone else would have given up on me in a week. These guys never do.

So take your time, relax. Because you are amongst true brothers here. Not everything you go through will be understood by all, but you will find that there is someone always who will understand and reach out to you. The rest support as they can.

You are not alone with this anymore. And you never will be again. Share what you wish, when you wish, and we'll be here.

You are not alone.

Peace,

Marc
 
For now, I will say welcome. You have come to a great place full of great people. I am glad that you can find some comfort knowing that you are not alone. You are not crazy. Take a few deep breaths and relax for a minute, then start your journey.
 
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