New - and Happy to have found y'all

New - and Happy to have found y'all
N

Nealus

Registrant
I have a friend in the UK - Dan - who has MaleSurvivor.org displayed all over his Weblog. And it's been a few months for me - in getting around to stopping in.

I just posted a brief synopsis of my life in the Stories Section. No sense in repeating that here.

All I need to say - is what we Irish say:
"I'm An Old Dog - To A Hard Road"

I've come hear to learn...
To share and to hopefully make a contribution.

You see - for the past 10 years or so - I put the discussions of Sexual Child Abuse [and my attempts to write a book about my life] on the back burner. I was trying to survive - life.

Now - my time could be very short - because I just learned this year - that I need a Heart Transplant.

But - I do have time left - to contribute and to continue to learn and discuss.

I wish you all a safe journey through survival and recovery - as I voyage onwards towards my own.

Thanks for being here. Nealus
 
Thank YOU for being here, for bringing your life experience and sharing it with us.
Most of us have other health issues as well, but not maybe as serious as yours. I wish you well with that.
I just read your post in the Survivor Stories section but do not know how to reach your book excerpts.
What I did read reminded me of some of my childhood. My heart goes out to you for what must have been so painful for you.
I am coming to believe that most of men's problems may have Childhood Sexual Abuse as a root cause. My difficulty started before then, however, in a home rife with conflict and stress, both my mother and sister were manic-depressives.
Let me/us know how to reach your book. Come back with more about yourself so that we can get to know you.
Welcome home,
David
 
Nealus
welcome to our world, it might not be the world we choose but it's the one we've got, so we're making the best of it.

I hope you get your health problems sorted soon, and I'm sure that some support and help for dealing with your abuse will ease the strain for you.

Take care
Dave
PS. My Irish father in law always told us to "live for today, and let tommorrow look after itself"
 
Hi Guys,

And Thanks for the warm welcome.

Ivanhoe - I've read through all of the posting rules [which I do when I join any forum] and I did not see any mention - of - Do Not post url's - and/or Website addresses.

In case I missed something - the Moderator of this section can advise me and/or delete the following - and I wanted to ask first or be asked - so that I didn't break any rules my first day.

David - my book - An Inch From Murder is at:
https://www.aninchfrommurder.com

And you might be interested in the things that I do on my Weblog=Blog at:
https://www.aninchfrommurder.com/blog/

The Blog - maybe is - "one of a kind" at this gesture in history - where I try to keep the issues of abuse - out there - daily.

All are welcome to participate. One can add comments. One could be a regular author - posting as often as I do. I do not have many male friends over there. So far this year - I have only frequented "general" abuse forums where I have many women giving input.

Do - check out the Reviews and Testimonials [so far] and I have 2 special ones that I will share here at MaleSurvivor - because they are very unique. Those will come later.

You can learn so much more about me - on my Blog - than I could post here today - but I'll be back here to talk with you all.

Lloydy,

From my best friend and mentor "Dale Carnegie" from his book - "How To Stop Worrying And Start Living Again":

Just remember: "Today is the Tomorrow - that you worried about Yesterday"

peace out,

Neil
aka Nealus
 
Hello, Neil,

Can I join the chorus of "Welcome, we're glad you're here!" ?

I, too, postponed discussions of my sexual abuse.

Looking back, I hold no grudge against myself for doing so. Most of what I feared was not at all unreasonable.

Most people do not want to hear about such things.

What I did not know was that there was such a place as MaleSurvivor, where men do care, because they have experienced many of the same emotions as me.

They don't mind hearing about what happened to me because they know from their own experience that 'letting the cat out of the bag' (to continue with our series of regional colloquialisms) is the first step in recovery.

Many of us then discover that because of our abuse we are uniquely qualified to be of vital assistance to others who are suffering as we did.

Speaking only for myself, I would say that learning about myself and being of aid to others who suffer as I have is the ultimate "in-your-face-fuck off-and-go-to-hell" dismissal of those who sexually abused me.

It is a pleasure to welcome a man of insight and talent such as you to this place. As we often say, I am sorry for what brought you here, but I am very glad that you have found us.

Regards,
 
Glad you found the site. Im new myself and like you Irish.
Nice to meet you, wishing you well with the health problems.
Rustam.
 
Hi Neil

I had a feeling we would meet up in here sometime glad (and sorry) you could make it

Archnut aka Dan
 
Hi, Nealus,

first of all, I am sorry to hear of your health problems, and wish you a healthy life. It is sad that we are born so healthy, but our lives are tainted by this crap, it affects not only our minds but our bodies, as we have health problems caused by this.

I hope you get to finish your book, and as you say, if one kid's life is saved, it is worth the effort.

Like yourself, my story will be known, it will take time, it is so hard a subject to relive, but I too think it is a shame that we cannot tell the World the truth!

I will read your story, and give you honest feedback.

nice to see you found us, a great place to be, a place to work out on some of the problems you face, I welcome you,

ste
 
Neil
there's no problem with the links, keep spreading the word.

Dave
 
Guys

I told you that I knew a guy named Dan ;-)

Dan the Man from the UK
[hope you are well my friend]

Guys - I have spend almost the entire day - ostly this afternoon watching football and reading the threads on this forum.

What a fantastic place........thank you all.

**********

Ste

Thank You for your words.

Re: "telling the World the truth"

Ste - you can and you will - just like I did and will. Any of you that would like help writing - always contact me. I'm hanging around awaiting a Transplant that will very well take years - so I have a lot of time on my hands and will help any of you in an way that I can.

If I could "cross post" this one thought to all of the forums in MaleSurvivor.org - my advice would be:

Write something down every day.......write down every bad thought - good thought - write a journal - write about your feelings - write to yourself - and then mail it to yourself.....write, write, write. Send your daily notes - your journal - to some unknown place around the World and put your return address on it - and pay to have it returned - and it will be returned weeks later - and open it up - and look at your feelings - from a few weeks back. It's healing. I did it myself.

And if it never comes back.........nevermind it!!!
[but always keep a copy - for your book]

My head is spinning from all of the threads that I have read today - and I wanted in each one to say; write, write and write some more.

I had 15 months in a jail cell to write - frightened out of my wits from the experience - but I disiplined myself - to write down something every day. Do you know - that if you wrote a page per day - you would have a 365 page book - at the end of the year. Think about it :-)

Ste

As of today - my Book is officially finished. What I started in December of 1984 - I have finally finished today. Now - what do I do with myself???

Well - I've know all along - that this day would come - and I've known all along what I would do.

And that is:

Give it away Free - to every Survivor that I know. And secondly - my goal is to make my Book available to every Prison system in this Nation.

So - for all of you fine folks reading this thread today - go read:
https://www.aninchfrommurder.com/malesurvivor/

My gift to you.

peace. out.

Neil

p.s. email me anytime or follow this thread with your feedback. It will help me tremendously.
I am at: webmaster at aninchfrommurder dot com
[don't worry - my email is filtered by SpamArrest]

Oh and by the way - the other thing that I do Free is:
https://www.computer-internet-tutoring.com
 
Hi Folks,

I made a Boo Boo
Well it was Halloween yesterday - afterall.

My Book wasn't accessible because I had bad linking code connected to the directory that I put it in for MaleSurvivor. It is fixed now.

Thanks Ste for the head's up.
Just goes to show ya how much I know about computers :-) hahahahahaha

Ste - thanks for the PM. You mentioned something that gives me the opportunity to share some things with you all.

I hope - that some of you go ?What?

I placed a smaple chapter of my book [the Preface] on a Website - that reviews books. I was curious. I got a lot of very good helpful comments.

And then I got these two:

"Although my heart goes out to you - if indeed this bio-story is indeed true, it's written quite ineffectively, quite amateurish. I find it difficult to believe that you stated you're 52 in your bio and, let alone, divulge such private information about personal "tragedies" in your bio to the cyber world...It appears more of a cry for attention, than much of anything else...

And, although you stated in your bio you are writing this from your '20 year old notes ' and 'plan to edit it in "consice' form', this is not formatted in any known "consice" form I've ever read, or seen.

In my years, whenever I've run across a piece such as this one, my experience has always been the persona behind the monitor is trying to get pity and attention...and I don't like it.

I'm sorry, if written well enough, even half well enough, and your bio wasn't so loaded with "pity me" information, I might believe. Besides, no one's life is as bad as you've tried to lead everyone to believe..."

#2

"A long and rambling, static account of a troubled life. It seems to me that there was something about you that caused all these men to be drawn to you for their perversion. Maybe it was because they knew you had already been molested and thought you an easy mark, but whatever reason, they found you. I don't believe I have ever heard of anyone with THAT many different people molesting them."

HaHa

Good thing - that I have broad shoulders. Geez.

You know - I shot these two comments past a lady who is a very public figure in the assistance to victims and works towards the prevention of Child Sexual Abuse - and she said to me:

"My gut tells me that when people do that kind of criticism, that THEY ARE MOST LIKELY AN ABUSER, and writing that from their guilt and denial of it. And you will have to remember that many victims become abusers. So they may be seeking help from one part of themselves, and another part of them is defensive about the abuse they have done to others."

Remember - this is - *this ladies* opinion - not mine.

I bet you guys have a lot more to say.

I sure do - but this is not the appropriate forum - to say - what I really would like to say. I'll reserve my judgement - after I go outside and *shake a tree* :-)

Have a great day and just remember:

"The load of tomorrow, added to that of yesterday, carried today, makes the strongest falter." by Dale Carnegie

peace. out.
 
Hi Neil, I am glad you do have broad shoulders.
You spend your life, writing about the one thing in life, the road that nobody needs to ever go down!!!

Comments like that certainly must come from an abuser, or the very least, someone who is very macabre, or emotionally unstable. Possibly people with a personality VOID. They have no sense of compassion in their words.

Even if I thought, what they thought, I certainly would not say so. But, Hey, what the f**k are they reading your stuff for anyhow?

They must have been searching for someone to cyber abuse! Just ignore it, and it will go away.

Don't forget, abusers will look for sites like yours, just to get whatever they do get, maybe from continuing your abuse with remarks.

I know what I would reply to them, but the words don't fit any category of this forum!@@###!!!

They cannot understand that, when we have been abused by one of them, we do indeed end up fixed in the "Radar" of other abusers in our neighbourhood, the magnet of filth.

Then again, I would not expect any member of society to know just how that feels, or why it is? They haven't got the capacity. They just don't "get it". And I for one, don't give a shit, because I am well past that one,

peace to you,

ste
 
Ste

Thanks for saying this:

maybe from continuing your abuse with remarks.
Click to expand...
I better watch out for that. You are probably - spot on - and there will be some very vicious people out there - that would like to find the right buttons of mine to push.

But with people like you - and the support of this website - I know that I'll handle it....sort of[I don't think that you ever - *handle it*]

No one - can ever hurt me again - as I was hurt - as a child.

No one - Can Ever Hurt Me Again - that Bad.

I just won't allow it.

peace

Neil
 
Nealus it is men like you, who through their efforts, bring the stench of sa out of society's closet for all to see. In so doing, you and others like you, have given other survivors hope for the future and have stamped faces to the crime. God bless you.
 
Mike

Thanks for the God Bless. It means a lot to me.

An excerpt from my book:
What I wrote to myself in Jail:

It wasn't outward situations that had caused all my suffering but what I thought of those situations. Here in Jail - I have had time to think and get acquainted with myself. I have made more spiritual growth in these months than I have made during all my previous life. I became calmer, and tried to develop a new sense of values. I read books of inspiration. I can express only what is in my own consciousness. I resolved to think only thoughts I wanted to live by. Thoughts of joy, happiness, health.

*****

One sure way to forgive and forget our enemies is to become absorbed in some cause infinitely bigger than ourselves. Then the insults and enmities we encounter won't matter because we will be oblivious of everything but our cause.

And as the Brits would say in their Parliment:

Hear !!! Hear !!!

peace. out.

Neil
 
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