Nerves? Anxiety? Waiting for the other shoe to drop

Nerves? Anxiety? Waiting for the other shoe to drop
O

outis

Registrant
I looked all the way back to mid March and don't see when I wrote about this before. I know I posted in the Members' area. I thought I wrote something here, too, but who knows?

In late March I learned that the perp who raped me when I was a teen was working at a school for boys. I wrote a letter to the school explaining why I thought it was a bad idea for him to be there. I sent copies of the letter to the FBI, the PA State Police (both in the county where the school is and in the county where he raped me), and the county sheriff in the county where he raped me.

A week later I called the State Police to be sure they had receieved the letter and to see if I would need to do anything else to be "official." I learned that they were doing an investigation.

At some point I talked to the Trooper doing the investigation. I gave her phone numbers to reach my parents and those of my siblings that I could find.

During the abuse, I remember him asking about my brother. I was so afraid he was going to do something to my brother. I made up stuff, reasons why he should not approach my brother, to try to keep the perp away from him.

When my brother heard from me about the investigation, he called. I learned that he had been safe from this bastard. I also learned that the abuse did not stop in the spring as I had believed it had. My brother was not living at home that winter. He did not return home until June or July. The perp didn't start asking about him until he was home, so the abuse went on into some time in the summer.

The Trooper doing the investigation left a message on my voice mail yesterday, and I called her back this morning.

She found him. He did in fact work at the school at one time. He was dismissed, but "not for anything like this." Her next step is "talking to him."

I don't know what I thought was going to happen back in March. I just could not stand the thought of boys enduring his touch. It has been rough sometimes taking care of myself since then. Now I wonder what she will have to say. Will she tell him that I complained? I do not want him to come near my family.

I don't know what else I was going to say. I guess that's enough for now, anyway.

Thanks,

Joe
 
Joe,
That was a brave thing you did, and I applaud you for it! You may have saved some poor kid the pain you were forced to endure! Great job!
Casey
 
Joe, there always seems to be lots of anxiety after a report of the abuse. But, it is in breaking the silence about a perp that boys are made safer.

I hope that the trooper does enough digging to find if other boys were harmed and if so, I hope they can also talk about it. At the very least, I would hope that this man gets some help in learning how to control his urges.

Bob
 
Joe,
That was awesome and courageous. I hope the guy never works around boys again.

Jeff
 
Joe,

THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU FOR DOING THAT! That was so curagious of you! There is no doubt that you did the right thing, all be it difficult!

Continue to be strong and take care of yourself!

PEACE!

TJ
 
Thanks, guys. It really doesn't feel brave at all. I actually feel more fear about whether he would learn where my family is. I was relieved to learn that he never got to my brother. I'm not sure what to think about the abuse lasting into the summer. I had been so sure it was only a few months, ending in the spring.

I should hear more next week. I'll keep you posted as I do.

Thanks,

Joe
 
Joe,

The waiting is hell. I'm sorry that you are going through that and I'm so proud of you for your action on this matter. I am thankful that mine went so fast, even if it didn't feel like it.

Thoughts are with you,
Bill
 
That other shoe is dropping like some Apollo moon surface gravity demonstration. :(

I talked to the Trooper yesterday, and she has not yet been out to talk to the perp. She told me she does not know if she will have to tell him who it was that reported (i.e., me). She will keep me updated when she does go out.

And this interesting tidbit. There are no other complaints against him from anyone in the state. He was dismissed from the school, but it was not for "anything like this," in her words.

Is it really possible that this guy who abused me and wanted to abuse my brother never got anyone else? Because if he didn't, and he didn't get to anyone at the school, where he doesn't even work anymore, I kinda wish I hadn't gotten into something I'm not sure I've been ready to handle.

Still hatin' the waitin'.

Joe
 
Joe
stastics - as accurate as they are - point to most perps abusing many kids. How many remain silent isn't recorded.

Perps are nearly always spineless creeps, especially when the finger of suspicion falls upon them.
The last thing they want is fuss, so I don't think you have a great deal to worry about.
Also, they fear publicity and won't do anything to create more because publicity works on your side. Once his name is in the papers other Survivors will come forward, and that's his greates fear.

I admire you courage Joe, you did the right thing.
Sleep well, you have nothing to feel bad about.

Dave
 
Joe, my thought is that if the perp finds out about you he had better pray like hell that you don't stub your toe, or have a car accident or anything else that would make him a number one suspect.

I think once we break the silence they need to fear us a thousands times more than we need to ever fear them again.

Dave is right, unfortunately, it is very unlikely that he did not go after other boys. But we can pray that he did not--not likely though.

Bob
 
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