Need some help (TRIGGERS)

Need some help (TRIGGERS)

Archnut

Registrant
Hello folks

I was going to say such a lot. Yesterday I saw a new Clinical Psychologist one that I had seen two and a half years ago. I was seeing her at the behest of my Consultant Psychiatrist. I have no real idea as to why I was seeing her, the appointment was made and I attended. I got the distinct feeling I was being given the brush off by our local area health authority. She asked me the question, What did I want from this meeting? I replied I dont really know, I still need help with my anger I know that. She will enquire as to what help is about and refer me. She asked me for an update on everything. I told her about the police investigation, the two trials I was involved with. My disappointment at the results and conviction as those convictions were upheld without my evidence, my evidence remains on file and that really pisses me off. It was me that started off the whole fucking investigation but I was unable to give my evidence because the Crown Prosecution Service here in the UK decided it would not be in the public interest (MONEY). After I had updated her on everything including my two and a half years of one to one counseling she asked what else can we do"? "Youve had two years of counseling, your still self harming, making yourself sick in the mornings, youve relapsed with booze, your going to have to let go! Me let go, no fucking way if I do that I will go under and there is no way Im going to go under as there are a few more of my perps out there that remain unconvicted. Yes I have my obsessions and thats to bring those others to justice even if that means I will ultimately destroy myself, if thats the case, so be it. Id rather die happy knowing that the finger had been well and truly pointed at those bastards (who remain unconvicted) who abused me.

As far as I can see my therapy has done me no good whatsoever I am still in that place I was on 9/11 yes on that day I started my counseling so Im not ever likely to forget that date. I have doubts still about my sanity and my recollection of events with one particular abuser, I can remember all the others as clear as a bell but not this one, I can only remember feelings and sensations, feeling cold against black silk sheets and dark stains on self same sheets. I can certainly remember the pain I was in the following day but decided to do nothing about it as that would have involved the police and I was never ever to be the cause of the police walking up our garden path, BTW this is laughable now, my father was more of a crook than I ever thought possible. Im still fucking angry at the way my parents took no bloody notice of me. I have disowned my father the only regret I have is that I didnt do it a lot earlier. I still suffer nightmares, night sweats and terrors, triggers, flashbacks, numbing out, unpredictable mood swings so intense I can feel them changing my mood, it is literally like standing outside on a bright sunny day and then a storm cloud moves over the sun and everything fades into grey and black, bloody hell its dark sometimes. Ive become a bloody hermit and recluse. I cant shower in the house whilst my wife is out and I feel sick on going outside. I just wish I could break this chain of feeling so bloody helpless, what am I doing wrong?

Help..There you go Ive asked for it.

Archnut
And all that was left was hope

My Story (TRIGGERS)
https://www.waltonhop.blogspot.com
 
Archnut,

I don't know if this will help you or not, but I'm willing to give it a try.

I don't believe there is a 'time limit' for therapy for SA/PTSD/etc.. Different people will react individualy to healing, and you might need more time to get through the trauma.
I don't know how the medical system works in the UK, but is there some way you can see a different Therapist/Dr.? It doesn't sound like the one you are seeing is helping you cope with all the stuff.

I know this sounds simplistic, and too easy, but it might be the key to unlock what is still challenging you.

I wish you well in your fight to heal.

Whicker
 
To admit limitations with a statement like, "What more can we do?' is a sad self-indictment, I think. I hope that person is merely misinformed (though that is bad enough), and not willfully ignorant.

Of course, there is a great deal left to be done. The society that allowed those things to happen to us is responsible for helping us to cope now with the resulting symptoms.

Please don't give up on your search for the right help. You deserve it!

It took me a long time and was sometimes very discouraging along the way. For a long time, I didn't even know exactly what I was looking for.

Finally, I hooked up with a counselor in the system who recognized what I was going through (though only because she happened to have had experience working elsewhere with abused children).

She then referred me to the therapist I am seeing now who specializes in abuse recovery and has extensive experience which, means, after all the time, effort and discouragement, I am making progress. I am feeling better more often and hardly ever seriously think about doing away with myself anymore.

I've started to sometimes really enjoy the present moment experience of life which is extraordinary for me.

Some of what I am experiencing is totally new for me because I was abused from the time I was an infant but, regardless of when abuse occurred, I have the right to be compensated for what was taken from me and that compensation should take the form of the right therapist at the right time for as often and as long as I feel it is needed.
 
Archnut and guys - It's so discouraging to hear tales of folks going from one therapist to another without finding the relief and healing they need. Reality is, it happens too often to too many people. BUT - the few therapists who understand and can make a difference for you are out there. It takes joyurneying, picking yourself up after disappointment and discouragement, continuing the search.

I had a 10 and a half year old boy come to me after 3 years of therapy with 2 different therapists. Sexual abuse was suspected. After thr 5th visitm, he began to disclose the extensive sexual and physical abuse he went through before living with another family member who helped him. He spent at least 25%+ of his life with therapists that could not touch the roots of his ptroblems. Effectivwe therapists are out there!! Please don't give up!!

Howard
 
Archnut
Sometimes we merge all of our problems into one huge, unmanageable problem, and I know that you have many sides to your story.
Maybe seperating them and dealing with the most important will help?

Those things that we worry about and can't change can wait, make YOURSELF the priority.

You know the numbers to call, we're all here for you.

Dave
 
Archnut - I don't really know what to say to help, I wish I had some kind of magic wand to just make it all go away.

The time that you were abused & remember the sensations & staining, but not the detail - perhaps the bastard drugged you in some way to make sure you were compliant.

Don't ever forgive those that harmed you, but remember it is OK to forgive yourself. Not easy I know, it took me long enough to forgive myself.

Best wishes ...Rik
 
Archnut,

I can sense the frustration of your post. I made statement against the man who abused me (and numerous others, I am sure) in March. Another two people joined me and press charges on him also. It is now end of July, and only thing I am told of it is 'we can not make comment on an ongoing investigation'.

I am not sure what advice, if I can give advice, to you. Because even when it is good, even when you have come very far with healing and learning, you can go backwards some. I have been having that happen very much for past few weeks. For a while, it feel like I have gone all way back to beginning. But I know, in real, that it is not that bad. I don't think you ever can go back there, all way to beginning, because we know now what we did not know then. It don't mean it doesn't hurt to feel lost again.

I know I have not helped, but I wish you good luck.

leosha
 
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