Need some help on this one please.

Need some help on this one please.
J

John Oarc

Registrant
Has anyone felt like they just wanted to get on with their life and not come back to this site or talk about it anymore. I feel like I just want to get on with my life now, is this normal? I feel like I am betraying all of my brothers if I leave but I also feel like it is time to get on with my life and stop talking about this stuff. Why do I feel bad like I am turning my back on all of you, or that I will not feel like this tomorrow and need to come back. It must be like therapy and the site is making me realize that I need to stay and I want to go. I am not sure what to do but I think I want to take the label away, "Survivor" is there another label that I can use like "human" and just let it rest. Can someone tell me what I am talking about or has anyone ever felt like this? I hope this post does not offend anyone I am only letting go of what I feel is the truth about the way I feel and that can't be wrong.
 
I won't be around here forever either........but I'm still early in my recovery and I still need these guys' support. Good luck to you if you decide to leave. Hey, you can always come back later........there are no goodbyes here.
 
I don't know why I worried about it I just feel so much love in this place, so much help and hurting all in one place that it is hard to leave but I feel like I must, maybe I just need a rest who knows.

"Hey, you can always come back later........there are no goodbyes here."

This statement made my day, thanks Hauser.
 
We all need a break, time to focus on other areas of our lifes, that sounds completely normal.
 
why do you think i was gone so long? i think as your recovery starts to come together, all the pain of everyone here kind of weighs on you, and you get tired of being a survivor. you finally are healthy enough to be content and happy, and you want to put all this aside and enjoy it. i think it is something we all go through, but the time will come when you wonder what is happening here, and you wonder if you might help anyone. then you return until the next time it all becomes too much.
 
:) you sure sound someone like me, who would often wonder, why am I still hanging around here?

Though soon I got my answers, as someone else's life taught something new about mine, and now I know there is no end to learning from life.

After being a trauma centre, now MS is healing pool for me and a study circle!
 
John,
I can relate exactly. I have posted and chatted lately about the "world" of recovery. Let me explain.
Back in 2003 I was deep in recovery, both here and in therapy. Moreso here because I could post anything and some (stranger) would write back. I really didn't want any close relationships.
Things changed for awhile. My wife became pregnant, and we moved in with in-laws. I kept my stuff on the table. In retrospect, I gave up on myself because I felt unaccepted in their house, so I dropped the label and my outreaches. I was ashamed to admit my past even to myself. I wanted someone else to pick it up. It worked for a while.
Only the last December did we move out. "I" started coming out again, and admitted it again to a friend in recovery. He is my "sponsor" in a 12 step program, so we put the SA on the table. I had been running away from it; I was (am?) terrified of it.
I am only here because I can't wish/ignore/deny it away. It won't. I don't live on this site, but someone, someone, somewhere else, has to know about it. I can't carry it alone.
How do I stand? And on what? I don't know. I am grateful that a few friendships were formed back then, and one guy sent me a PM first thing when I showed up. Some people are worthy of having a friendship with.

I encourage myself now to take it easy. This is a long, hard (some days) task. I too don't like automated responses from some, but every once in a while, I will connect.... and not be alone.

Good luck.

fhorns
 
Thanks guys, I knew everyone would understand. I am going to rest a bit and I know I can come back any time I please. I really care about all of you even though I have never met anyone on this site. I feel like I have met a great group of guys though and knowing I can come and check in is comforting.

Thanks again for everything,
 
It's called taking control - we do what is good for us... the rest will understand!

Best wishes ...Rik
 
John,

You've come into our lives, touched us deeply, and we will never be quite the same. Your presence here has been a blessing and an inspiration. You will always be welcome here, tomorrow, next week, or next year.

Lots of love,

John
 
John,
You have helped us a lot. I have thought about it once or twice but my survivor friends ouside of this site are very few which is why I come here. But if you need a break from all of this by all means take it. Your always welcomed back anytime.
Best of luck to you where ever life may take you.
 
Have a look at the member ID numbers for the various guys here and youll see some have been around quite a while, yet you probably may only see them post now and again. I know thats what Ive observed.

Ive also taken breaks from logging on to the site. It all gets too much sometimes, but youve already seen, you are welcome any time and all times in between.

Be here when you need it and us and take that time away when you need to also John.
 
John,

As others have stressed, only you can make this sort of decision. You have made a big contribution here and I would hate to see you go, but at the same time I want you to do what's best for you.

You may find that you just need a break and that later you will want to return. That happens all the time here, and if you need a rest, just take it and come back when you can. You will be most welcomed.

I would also have to say that the problems that arise from abuse don't go away if one stops talking about them. They just fester. But if you feel you have "had it", then sure, take a break and see how you feel later.

Much love,
Larry
 
Mmm the good thing about this site is that come or go, its still here.

Its here when we need it and when we need a break we can take one. Its not like a therapist when we have to keep an appointment or loose our slot.

What I will say though, in my opinion is that abuse is always with us, it never goes away and even though Im 90% healed Im not ready to stop talking.

That is almost a bigger step than starting to talk because those feelings (as I found out) bottle up again.

However, if that happens, MS will still be here, you can come back and will be welcome.

Alternatively, wean yourself off, only come here once a week. Just to keep in touch with your buddies and catch up on latest posts.

Either way, you'll be missed.
 
I thank all of you for everything, I wish I could express how much you have touched my life. It has been an experience I will never forget.

Again just knowing this site and you guys are here makes me feel great.

I pray that all of the guys in the world with no knowledge of what molestation (SA) has done to them find this site and I pray that they find love and peace from all of your post as I have.

I'll be back, Arnold Swartzanegar..... cant spell it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top