My "wonderful couples counselor"
Since me and my bf Boo Boo were having problems in our relationship, we decided to try couples counseling. Boo Boo has never been to counseling before, but I have.
We found a counselor and went to a few sessions with him. After each session we would talk about it. Boo Boo liked the sessions, but wasn't sure why I wasn't satisfied with the counseling. I mentioned that I didn't like the sessions because it felt more like two simultaneous individual counseling sessions and not like a couples counseling session. Yes, I know that we as individuals have to work as individuals in order for a relationship to work. Still, something wasn't feeling right with the counseling.
I didn't like the recommendations that he was making, and I was also feeling frustrated that he wasn't listening to what I was saying. Then once the counselor and I went into some sort of argument over communication. I guess he felt that it wasn't OK for me to know certain things that to me are basic or a given. I told him that the fact that he's hearing certain things from me for the first time doesn't mean that it's the first time I am dealing with them. I needed aknowledgement of what I already know.
But what really finally made me had it with him was that I caught him staring at my crotch several times during the sessions. I didn't even really thought much of that in the beginning. However, I have (well had) a therapist where I was living, someone I know and trust and knows me well. I called her and talked to her about this sessions. I only mentioned to her casually about the guy staring at my crotch. She made a big deal out of it, and said that it's a very inappropriate thing to do, especially a therapist with one of his clients. Honestly, to me it wasn't a big deal, but thinking back, maybe that's what was making me feel uncomfortable during the sessions.
Boo Boo just laughed at the whole thing when I mentioned it to him, and (jokingly) told me that he'd do the same if I was his client (but, of course, he's my bf). We ended the counseling sessions and now we are looking for another counselor, although things are a little better between us.
On one hand, I still think my therapist made a big deal of something I didn't find to be that "invasive". On the other hand, being a survivor of abuse, I don't trust my judgement 100% when it comes to people looking at me in a sexual manner. I'd like to hear your comments on this matter.
We found a counselor and went to a few sessions with him. After each session we would talk about it. Boo Boo liked the sessions, but wasn't sure why I wasn't satisfied with the counseling. I mentioned that I didn't like the sessions because it felt more like two simultaneous individual counseling sessions and not like a couples counseling session. Yes, I know that we as individuals have to work as individuals in order for a relationship to work. Still, something wasn't feeling right with the counseling.
I didn't like the recommendations that he was making, and I was also feeling frustrated that he wasn't listening to what I was saying. Then once the counselor and I went into some sort of argument over communication. I guess he felt that it wasn't OK for me to know certain things that to me are basic or a given. I told him that the fact that he's hearing certain things from me for the first time doesn't mean that it's the first time I am dealing with them. I needed aknowledgement of what I already know.
But what really finally made me had it with him was that I caught him staring at my crotch several times during the sessions. I didn't even really thought much of that in the beginning. However, I have (well had) a therapist where I was living, someone I know and trust and knows me well. I called her and talked to her about this sessions. I only mentioned to her casually about the guy staring at my crotch. She made a big deal out of it, and said that it's a very inappropriate thing to do, especially a therapist with one of his clients. Honestly, to me it wasn't a big deal, but thinking back, maybe that's what was making me feel uncomfortable during the sessions.
Boo Boo just laughed at the whole thing when I mentioned it to him, and (jokingly) told me that he'd do the same if I was his client (but, of course, he's my bf). We ended the counseling sessions and now we are looking for another counselor, although things are a little better between us.
On one hand, I still think my therapist made a big deal of something I didn't find to be that "invasive". On the other hand, being a survivor of abuse, I don't trust my judgement 100% when it comes to people looking at me in a sexual manner. I'd like to hear your comments on this matter.
