My views of other men, the evolution

[Brentv1975]

During my childhood , I hung out with girls primarily and avoided boys. I wasn't sure bout them let alone adult males . Avoiding men in terms of friendships lasted into college. I grew up brainwashed into thinking all I had to offer men was sexual and I had no other value to them. As I got older, I came to realize not all men are bad. So I have formed friendships with men and often times, close ones . For this, I am thankful.
Brent

 

[i-m-Bri]

Brent,
I am happy to hear to have found a way and closed that gap.

I can absolutely relate to avoiding other guys. The shame convinced me I was so other, being in the procimity of another boy was painful. Comparing myself to other boys in any way was packed with anxiety, and automatic failing.I was defective on so many levels it forfeited my gender. Not that I was a girl, that would have been easy, my boyhood was just null and void.

I can't say that I am completely at ease with other men 100% of the time. But I am surprised at how much of that old barrier has dropped. I am able to be myself more often then not. I can't tell you how deeply satisfying that is.

Congratulations!

 

[Brentv1975]

@Brentv1975 I can so relate so to what you have said, it resonates deeply for me. I hear you so clearly.

I have been on my own journey of what it means for me to be a man. Strange as that may sound, it also includes my own experience of what it means for me to have a penis. I am incredibly grateful that I have become a welcome member of a community of men who accept me as I am and where I don't have to meet a grade.

Thank you for sharing this.

I am glad you can relate . I felt so unlike other men . I felt like a leper. Glad not to feel that way anymore. I'm glad too that we both found this site. Best wishes , B

 

[Brentv1975]

Brent,
I am happy to hear to have found a way and closed that gap.

I can absolutely relate to avoiding other guys. The shame convinced me I was so other, being in the procimity of another boy was painful. Comparing myself to other boys in any way was packed with anxiety, and automatic failing.I was defective on so many levels it forfeited my gender. Not that I was a girl, that would have been easy, my boyhood was just null and void.

I can't say that I am completely at ease with other men 100% of the time. But I am surprised at how much of that old barrier has dropped. I am able to be myself more often then not. I can't tell you how deeply satisfying that is.

Congratulations!

Agreed . It feels good to make progress with this. It is satisfying for sure. Yup I still sometimes fall into the old scripts but can pull myself back up .

 

[NC-Survivor]

Ditto. Still have fear and mistrust of men, but have made great strides in overcoming this. I have some deep, male friendships. Most know at least some of my story (some know a lot, 1 knows all!).

It has helped tremendously with my Healing Journey.

 

[Brentv1975]

I'm glad you are able to have close Male friendships and your making strides. Keep, keeping on ....B

 

[Searching13]

I too can relate to this.
I have felt extremely intimidated by the presence of males. For 2 reasons, I am afraid of being sexually aroused by them or being taken advantage from them. Over the years I have been able to over look these (but I do tread lightly) and have been able to have friendships with men.

 

[MACH123]

I don't have anything to do with men. But, aside from my wife and immediately family I don't have anything to do with anyone. I'd rather not deal with men. I completely relate to a few of these posts especially about forfeiting my gender which is as accurate way of putting it as I've ever heard.