my update

[jonny]

So, its been a month or so for me now since i first opened the floodgates to my memories, and what a month it's been! Hope life doesn't throw many more of these at me, my skinny little fists are barely able to keep a grip on things right now, so im not sure how much more i'm able to deal with.
Day at a time. (thats my little mantra, though sometimes i think it should be 'hour at a time')
Anyway, i told my sister. This was a huge deal for me, i'd already made up my ind that i would never tell a family member but... with some kind of spooky female intuition she half guessed and i crumbled. Was stressfull but now im so glad i shared. Somehow it's helping me to make these things concrete, and i figure that if they are concrete then i can deal with 'em. Probably didn't explain that too well but maybe someone will understand me.
I decided that i'm not gonna make too many decisions or try to figure stuff out too much. I'm putting some faith in the idea that my healing process will be organic somehow and that it will happen of it's own accord if i keep strong and keep on facing up to things.
It's all i can do at the moment because the strength for anything else eludes me.
I'm so glad this board exists, i can't tell ya.
bye for now

Jonny

 

[FLRich]

Jonny,

I think it's a good thing that you decided to keep your healing "organic", if by that you mean biting off as much as you feel you can handle at one time. That's pretty much what I did.

I started coming to Male Survivor in May 2004. I read, posted, and made friends here. I was able to express my fears and doubts, and the entire time I was never once criticized or judged by any of the guys here. What a relief! About a month and a half ago, I decided it was time to begin therapy. I am in therapy now and although I am afraid a lot, or maybe nervous, I know that it is something I need to do for myself. I waited until I felt comfortable before I signed up for therapy. I didn't rush right into it.

Once you find this site, read the posts, respond to some posts and PMs, and join in the chat room, you will know when it's time to take the next step. I guess it's "organic", moving at your own pace. Your mind and body know what and how much you can handle. Good Luck! Feel free to send a PM any time.

 

[xenoman]

Everyday is a day of progress, steady progress forward, if you make it so...When climbing up a steep hill, a man is often more conscious of the weakness of his stumbling feet than of the view, the grandeur or even of the upward prgoram. We are all glad you are here. I am glad that I am here. We all share a common ground.

 

[Bobby]

Jonny, It makes all the difference in the world to tell someone. I'm so glad you have your sister to talk to. Also, it makes a difference when it is concrete to you...an amazing difference. I'm so glad that is happening for you also. You have a great attitude. I'm glad you found us. Everyone here is here to help when they can. Don't hesitate to let us. Bobby

 

[RICK57]

Jonny - I think I know what you mean by 'things becoming concrete when you told your Sister'.

Probably the one person that you really wanted to understand you, probably the one person you were so frightened of getting the wrong response from.

Before you told her your head was slush - once she new and supported you, then you had new solid foundations to rebuild who/what/where you are - sorry if I sound presumptious...just been there.


Best wishes ..Rik