my story


Hi, to remain anonymous I will call myself Rictor. Im 27 years old.

I suffered physical and psychological abuse when I was a child, and also neglection and other traumas, but, mostly, I joined the group cuz I was sexual abused in school, which led me to b very impulsive later in my adolescence, seeking sex and partners, and didnt really care what happened
I was starting to recover, going on SLAA, sexual love anonymous addicted, so i went to a date with somebody i met on tinder, to get a beer or something, then we went to his apartment and, before i knew it, i got raped in the bedroom. I know its unlikely, but i was there to meet this person and then it happened, i wasnt very good at defending myself... i pretended everything was okay but as soon as i left i blocked him on my celphone
I am a gay man and this was not a one time thing, i was sexual assaulted by a man before and manage to defend myself, but this time i wasnt strong enough (he made me bleed during the sexual act and prudly talked about it later), so i stopped dating since 2018. Now im in a serious relationship but memories come and it bothers me.
I blocked my rapist from whatsapp but i could still see his photo and it annoyed me, so, after a year and a half it happened i unblocked him cuz i know he dont have my number anymore, so i couldnt never again see his face.

it bothers me hes still out there. it makes me sad to think about this world. i really hate him, sometimes i really hate everything and everyone.


I am so sorry that that happened to you Rictor, but so glad you felt able to speak out here about it. You are stronger than you know ! I have been a member here for a week and a bit, and have found support and talking through my assault/abuse has started to help. Keep reaching out and keep talking about things when you are able. Even if its one small detail, focus and chat about that instead of everything in its entirety. I'm glad you have been able to be in a relationship since, and I really hope it keeps working out for you. Keep your head up mate