My story

Greetings all,

I am grateful to have found this resource and to be amongst others who have been through what I have.

I am in my late 30's and in the past few years have begun to deal with my sexual abuse. My abuser was about 10 years older than I, at the time I was in 5th grade. I didn't have many friends in the neighborhood and Mark had a Corvette, a speed boat, and a motorcycle; all the things that a 10 year old boy could really enjoy.

My dad was in his late 50's so he could not be as active with me as I may have liked, so in some way I believe Mark took his place in that respect. I learned later that my dad felt the same way about Mark.

Th abuse started after we had been friends for a short while. He told me it was a test to see how much I trusted him. I was blindfolded and he fondled me and had me fondle him.

He would usually blindfold me or take me to a completely black room so I could not see. This continued for a couple of years as best I can recall.

I guess I got too old for him, as I got more involved with friends my own age, we drifted apart. He moved away but returned to my home town eventually.

My strongest emotion towards him is anger. I only wish to get one good swing at him. I have debated asking some of the other kids in the neighborhood if they too were exposed to him. I simply don't want any other kids to have the same experiences I did. It saddens me to think that he may still be abusing kids and I feel some responsibility to ensure that he is not.

Have any of you taken the path of bringing an abuser to justice? I feel somewhat strange calling friends I haven't talked to in 20 years to ask if the resident pedophile made advances towards them but I don't know of any other way. I feel my story will be more credible if I have others who were also abused by him.

Thank you for letting me ramble on and I look forward to participating in other discussions here.

Mark

 

[fmighell]

Welcome Mark,
At times I find this place of help for me,
I hope it can also be of help for you.
fmighell Anc Ak

 

[pondboy]

I had a very similar experience to your's mark. I waited 30 years to think about exposing the abuser who was very much like yours. I asked myself what I wanted out the exposure besides stopping him and it allowed me to get some very good therapy for the second time to explore the issue. I think most of us want to get control back. I have a very high profile position and going after my abuser would have ended up on natonal tv. I was willing to do it but knew it would cause alot of pain for many people who love me. and winning after 35 years with no witnesses would have been tough. it would be awful to have let this other guy off again!! anyways, I didn't do it but would never advise someone else on this . you need to figure this out yourself. good luck.

 

[Gondy]

Hello you all. I’m new here in MS and feel same anger and loneliness and shame of myself too. My abuse was similar. Being blindfolded and tied up while my abuser rubbing my legs fondled my private parts and made him suck his penis until he came inside my mouth ordered me to swallow his semen.

I never told anything to anybody until I wrote my story in this website (20 years after my abuse took place) I’ve chat with a few survivors awhile helped me to start with my healing process. I never have take therapy.
G

 

[KMCINVA]

Greetings all,

I am grateful to have found this resource and to be amongst others who have been through what I have.

I am in my late 30's and in the past few years have begun to deal with my sexual abuse. My abuser was about 10 years older than I, at the time I was in 5th grade. I didn't have many friends in the neighborhood and Mark had a Corvette, a speed boat, and a motorcycle; all the things that a 10 year old boy could really enjoy.

My dad was in his late 50's so he could not be as active with me as I may have liked, so in some way I believe Mark took his place in that respect. I learned later that my dad felt the same way about Mark.

Th abuse started after we had been friends for a short while. He told me it was a test to see how much I trusted him. I was blindfolded and he fondled me and had me fondle him.

He would usually blindfold me or take me to a completely black room so I could not see. This continued for a couple of years as best I can recall.

I guess I got too old for him, as I got more involved with friends my own age, we drifted apart. He moved away but returned to my home town eventually.

My strongest emotion towards him is anger. I only wish to get one good swing at him. I have debated asking some of the other kids in the neighborhood if they too were exposed to him. I simply don't want any other kids to have the same experiences I did. It saddens me to think that he may still be abusing kids and I feel some responsibility to ensure that he is not.

Have any of you taken the path of bringing an abuser to justice? I feel somewhat strange calling friends I haven't talked to in 20 years to ask if the resident pedophile made advances towards them but I don't know of any other way. I feel my story will be more credible if I have others who were also abused by him.

Thank you for letting me ramble on and I look forward to participating in other discussions here.

Mark

Mark

Welcome. I am sorry for what you have lived. You are taking a brave step in talking and facing the abuse. The emotions can be strong and sometimes overwhelming. It is important to get your emotions under control if you decide to take the abuser to justice, as outcome can be challenging and not what you wish. I have not taken my abuser to the police but I took the abuser to the Church and Diocese where my abuse occurred. It was a difficult process, the outcome gave me validation and support from the institution that was responsible for my abuse by the priest.

You need to investigate your locations law about abuse and statute of limitations. Having others could be helpful in pursuing. We all feel anger toward the abuser and at times those we believed should have known. I struggled and had unhealthy coping mechanisms that took me from me, my temporary relief from the pain of the memories.

I do hope you work on healing and then begin the process to find justice. I want you to be well and strong to face the path to legal justice.

I can tell you rambling was a wonderful medicine for me as I went on the journey to recover. Please continue to share.

Kevin