My story on recovery

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New Registrant
Well my recovery started back in 2008, where for the first time I opened up about my childhood sexual abuse, by a priest, as well as by
one of my bosses. I also was forced to have sex with my baby setter when I was only 12 years old, which set up for a life of shame, guilt,
low self esteem, low self-worth, anger, fear. a adult life filled with hurts, habits, hang ups, addiction, as well as wanting to die, never feeling like I
fitted in anywhere. I turned into a person with no faith, no love for myself, did not like myself. all this caused three marriage to fail, unable to have
healthy relationship, most of the time sex did not happen in the marriage, due to the past. My pastor help me to get help that I needed, I went to
male survivor weekend back 2010 which opened door that I did not understand which put me in a state of term oil. I caused a great deal of stress in
my marriage and lots of anger, till I went to a place called The ranch were for the first time was able to work on all my issues, PTSD, the past and build
on my self Esteem, low self worth, my anger, lying, cheating, looking at porn, my drinking was under control at this time, worked on wanting to die.
My life was going great was involved in church, celebrate recovery, when I first came out of treatment I did 90 meeting in 90 days, that were I got involved
with celebrate recovery.. Completed four 12 step study, became a leader for celebrate recovery, hold a small group for man who were sexual abused. my life was
great till 2017 when my wife came home and told me she was not happy and wanted a divorce, she had been having a affair on me for all most six month did not
even see it coming.. I recovery took a hit for a bit, my faith stayed strong, my faith in God stay strong, it what got me through it... How even it was hard on me and it
came with many up and downs. I was out on medical leave when my now ex wife did this to me, I had to go stay in a homeless shelter for six month, now living with
a friend till I get my self back on my feet. I have had a hard time finding work due to my health issues, plus my age, my credit took a big hit.
I have been able to work on my recovery and applied for grad school to become a pastor, as well as ministry counseling. Through all this I have learn never give up
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