My so called Marriage
I have been married to my current spouse for over 6 years. My wife has 2 children from 2 previous relationships, a boy 12 from her 1st marrige and a girl 7, from her past relationshiip.Over the years I have dealt with various issues stemming from both ex's and she has been no help to these situations. Each time something has occured she has come crying to me for aid and support and when I come to her aid making suggestions or stepping in, each time she leaves me hanging looking like the only one in opposition. For example, back when my step daughter (whom I have raised since she was a year old) was molested by her father during one of their visits. That night we took her to the hospital and she (who barely spoke at the time) was able to tell us everything he did to her, motioning several sexual acts which no child of that age would know. To make a long story short, police investigated the father and gave him a lie detector test (mind you he has mantal issues) and he passed it, therefore the case was closed and we were left to put my step daughter through a year of therapy for this. Following the initial incident her father never called to speak with her, never saught to see if there was even a possibilty that there could have been someone else who had done this to his daughter. He maintained that he was innocent and that we were just trying to get something on him. He also stated that he was the only one with his daughter that day.
Needless to say I was crushed and went into a deep depression over this whole ordeal. My wife tried to blow it off, while her daughter was acting out for several months, she tried and succesfully put it away as if it never happened.
She maintains that we don't know if it was him and that she (her daughter) could have lied about it. (eventhough she had scratches all over her and red marks on her personal area)
I wanted to leave her, but I decided I would be the one to bring some sanity into my stepdaughter's life.
Since that time, we have gone through many things with this guy and he has managed to be able to call my wife (only at work) and get her upset at times. And also call her crying about his own personal issues which she tries to help him with.
Well to jump to now, we recently had a new issue with my step daughter's father.
Yesturday she was found asleep in his car in the parking lot of the company where he works.
He was supposed to drop her off to us in the morning, however, he called us stating he was running late for work, (which is 5 minutes from our home) so he took her to work with him. He never told my wife she was left in the car from 7 am till 9:45 when they found her. Luckily she was okay, as he generously left the windows open for his 7 year old daughter to have air. My wife called me crying once she had gotten the call from the human resourse department from his job telling her what happened. He, the fathe, also had called before HR did to tell her what he did and that someone found her and had reported him. My wife said sh was on her way from work to pick her daughter up (meeting the father at our home) After the phone call from my wife, I was in shock. How could he have done this? I waited patiently for a call from her that everything was okay (as I didn't know from the phone call at that time). Hours went by. I called home by then several times but got no answer. Finally 3 hours later my wife called to me at work as if nothing happened and was very rude in response to my feelings of being worried about what happened. She blew off the fact she never called me and went on her way to run other errands. I told her that I had reported the whole car incident to the police. She asked why and was angry with me for doing so.
Later when I came home, I saw on our Caller ID that he had called our home. I asked her what he wanted, she said he was asking why the police were called. I asked her what her response was. She simply stated that she told him that I (meaning me her husband) had called the police. The rest of the conversation she kept to herself as she normaly does.
At this point I am at the end of my rope with her.
I love my adopted family (her children) and in ways I still love my wife. But I am torn with the question, "do I really want this person in my life? Can a marriage last under all of these conditions? Am I a fool?"
What is left to do?.....
Needless to say I was crushed and went into a deep depression over this whole ordeal. My wife tried to blow it off, while her daughter was acting out for several months, she tried and succesfully put it away as if it never happened.
She maintains that we don't know if it was him and that she (her daughter) could have lied about it. (eventhough she had scratches all over her and red marks on her personal area)
I wanted to leave her, but I decided I would be the one to bring some sanity into my stepdaughter's life.
Since that time, we have gone through many things with this guy and he has managed to be able to call my wife (only at work) and get her upset at times. And also call her crying about his own personal issues which she tries to help him with.
Well to jump to now, we recently had a new issue with my step daughter's father.
Yesturday she was found asleep in his car in the parking lot of the company where he works.
He was supposed to drop her off to us in the morning, however, he called us stating he was running late for work, (which is 5 minutes from our home) so he took her to work with him. He never told my wife she was left in the car from 7 am till 9:45 when they found her. Luckily she was okay, as he generously left the windows open for his 7 year old daughter to have air. My wife called me crying once she had gotten the call from the human resourse department from his job telling her what happened. He, the fathe, also had called before HR did to tell her what he did and that someone found her and had reported him. My wife said sh was on her way from work to pick her daughter up (meeting the father at our home) After the phone call from my wife, I was in shock. How could he have done this? I waited patiently for a call from her that everything was okay (as I didn't know from the phone call at that time). Hours went by. I called home by then several times but got no answer. Finally 3 hours later my wife called to me at work as if nothing happened and was very rude in response to my feelings of being worried about what happened. She blew off the fact she never called me and went on her way to run other errands. I told her that I had reported the whole car incident to the police. She asked why and was angry with me for doing so.
Later when I came home, I saw on our Caller ID that he had called our home. I asked her what he wanted, she said he was asking why the police were called. I asked her what her response was. She simply stated that she told him that I (meaning me her husband) had called the police. The rest of the conversation she kept to herself as she normaly does.
At this point I am at the end of my rope with her.
I love my adopted family (her children) and in ways I still love my wife. But I am torn with the question, "do I really want this person in my life? Can a marriage last under all of these conditions? Am I a fool?"
What is left to do?.....