My Perp?

My Perp?
WalkingSouth

WalkingSouth

I know it is habit, not to mention the fact that it's just plain easier to type, but

HE'S NOT MINE, DAMMIT!

I refuse to claim him. He can be the perp, that perp, taxi guy, him, he, perp, or any number of other useful terms, but he is not mine.

In time I may even come to the place where I can feel sympathy for the broken man he was, but he still will not be MINE.

There! I feel better!

Lots of love,

John
 
I hear you John. I quit referring to Rudy that way too. He is just the perp, unfortuately one of many but he's not mine. I think it was Darrel who, thankfully, pointed that out to me.

Dale
 
yeah, I tried to find Darrel's old thread on this topic, but couldn't locate it so started another one!

Lots of love,

John
 
John it is so crazy that you brought this up because I have been having a problem with this one too. I hate to say that he is mine as you have described. Kind of like survivor Vs experienced. I just can't figure out what to call him, maybe the "guy who molested me" would be appropriate or the "depraved man" I am not sure but like you he is not mine.

Type in Depraved in Microsoft Word and look in the thesarus, that list just about describes them to me.
 
John,

Yes, I remember Darrel stressing this in his thread. It took me awhile, but now I try never to say "MY perp/abuser". And it feels great to avoid that one, doesn't it?

Much love,
Larry
 
Wow guys,

I never thought of it that way. How weird to claim possession of someone so damn grotesque! I know for a fact that the last perp I came in contact with (didn't say "my last perp") had many victims, I was just one of many. So, he was in no way MY perp.

They were all a part of me, but not mine. Like chicken pox, or skin cancers...something bad, but not something I would want to claim as mine.

Thanks for setting this old man straight!
 
Larry,

Yes, it does feel great. "Claiming possession" of the perp was like keeping myself captive to his power over my life.

Throwing off that claim was liberating.

Rich, if you are old, that makes me much the same, and I reject the adjective, thank you very much! You can be what you want, I prefer to consider myself "experienced at life" :)

Lots of love,

John
 
Rich,

If you've said anything in your sojourn here at MS that has had meaning, that one ranks right up there at the top! :D :D :D

Lots of love,

John
 
John,

sounds like you have redeemed the situation perfectly.

Regaining control is cathartic,

ste
 
John,

This is something that in my opinion can't be over stressed. He ain't mine, never was. And for what ever it is worth, I'm not his victim! Was I a victim? Yes. But I am not and never was his! Him doing bad things to me did not make me his any more than me keying my neighbors car mekes it mine.

Love ya Bro

Darrel

PS, you can find the thread I started by clicking here.
 
wow. that's why I come here. Something like this from out of the blue will make a huge impression. I went back to a few of my threads and found that sure enough, "my perp", written over and over again. imagine the tape loop in my head? this has absolutely never occured to me before and i think it's extremely profound insight. Thanks Darrel and John for the posts. This is big for me. "My perp" is no more.

Alex
 
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