My messed up sexuality *"POSSIBLE-TRIGGER"
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New Registrant
* "trigger-warning"
I had signed up about a year ago but things got me too triggered. So today saw an email for this site in my junk mail, WHEN i RANDOMLY looked through it, so I looked back and looked around a little.
And this thread had me thinking I agree I am like a moth to flame, By seeking out sex by my first type of sex. So sex with men being the bottom when Im down depressed and the feeling disgusted by it all afterwards. When this comes over me just like previous drug alcohol addiction im powerless to stop. Only started acting out 2-3 years ago. (triggered through watching mmf bisex porn that my wife wanted to see) So she liked watching it -- told her what happened-- like pulling teeth but felt better afterwards Tried keeping it in check with all my willpower some only 5-6 times acting out. I am very religious and feel intense guilt over wanting this kind of sex. But feel I cannot stop it.
I have a very good wife been with me for 29 years (she knows I have sex with men) she loves me enough to help me work through this 4 kids and if saw me in person would never guess probably my bisexual side. With women about all things their smile body ect and no guilt. And with men just pure sex and extreme guilt when done.
Mine started at 5 by male family member. remember being sodomized and the intense pain and screaming I was doing and the white stuff too at 5 no idea what that was. started masturbating after this. This went on from 5-11 by men and 1 woman. I grew up quick and had a loud mouth so they quit. Remember being in fear from one of them who had a shotgun and a can of red pop and he shot the can all of the pop ran out the holes from shotgun. He said if I told my mother grand parents anyone he would kill them just like the pop can. POS SOB (I'm sorry this just came out as I'm writing) No wonder Im depressed trying to keep this all in.
thanks for letting me share.
I had signed up about a year ago but things got me too triggered. So today saw an email for this site in my junk mail, WHEN i RANDOMLY looked through it, so I looked back and looked around a little.
And this thread had me thinking I agree I am like a moth to flame, By seeking out sex by my first type of sex. So sex with men being the bottom when Im down depressed and the feeling disgusted by it all afterwards. When this comes over me just like previous drug alcohol addiction im powerless to stop. Only started acting out 2-3 years ago. (triggered through watching mmf bisex porn that my wife wanted to see) So she liked watching it -- told her what happened-- like pulling teeth but felt better afterwards Tried keeping it in check with all my willpower some only 5-6 times acting out. I am very religious and feel intense guilt over wanting this kind of sex. But feel I cannot stop it.
I have a very good wife been with me for 29 years (she knows I have sex with men) she loves me enough to help me work through this 4 kids and if saw me in person would never guess probably my bisexual side. With women about all things their smile body ect and no guilt. And with men just pure sex and extreme guilt when done.
Mine started at 5 by male family member. remember being sodomized and the intense pain and screaming I was doing and the white stuff too at 5 no idea what that was. started masturbating after this. This went on from 5-11 by men and 1 woman. I grew up quick and had a loud mouth so they quit. Remember being in fear from one of them who had a shotgun and a can of red pop and he shot the can all of the pop ran out the holes from shotgun. He said if I told my mother grand parents anyone he would kill them just like the pop can. POS SOB (I'm sorry this just came out as I'm writing) No wonder Im depressed trying to keep this all in.
thanks for letting me share.