my message to all abusers

my message to all abusers
J

jas4159

Registrant
“For all you abusers out there we are so much better than you could ever hope to be. While the fires of hell consume your soul, I will watch in sadness for all that is lost and for all that could have been had you got the help you need. For the pain you have caused and lives you have cost. And yes I will feel sad for you too. God didn't make evil souls and you chose the path that we victims didn't. You may have been abused or not. You may be evil or not. But it is certain you will live your life in emotional torment and your life is worth nothing unless you get the help you need. I have beaten you.
 
Not enough people seem to talk to the abusers - mainly just us victims. So I applaud this. What makes this different is that you don't address their evil, but rather their humanity.

Nobody talked to my abuser - nobody gave him the help he really needed. So that fell on me. I was not just his friend and neighbor, but became his sexual surrogate, his therapist, his dirty secret. And I played it all by ear as I went along - with all the sophisticated tools of a twelve year old. So we can rail against the abuser - he certainly deserves it. He's the most obvious target. But when we do, save a few words for the quieter voices. Save some words for the adults who didn't talk to him, who didn't talk to you, who never saw because they never really looked, who never stepped in and who never saved anyone except perhaps their own fragile sensibilities.

My abuser was mixed up - he couldn't help himself. But the parents in the neighborhood... what was their excuse? I address the abusers - and the silent people who should speak out - in my intro (click my signature). Maybe we are saying similar things, Rich.
 
To my abusers I choose forgiveness, I give back to you all of the things that never belonged to me in the first place. I do not absolve you of your sins, and justice should still have been served. But I choose the path of a peacemaker for myself.
 
jas4159 said:
“For all you abusers out there we are so much better than you could ever hope to be. While the fires of hell consume your soul, I will watch in sadness for all that is lost and for all that could have been had you got the help you need. For the pain you have caused and lives you have cost. And yes I will feel sad for you too. God didn't make evil souls and you chose the path that we victims didn't. You may have been abused or not. You may be evil or not. But it is certain you will live your life in emotional torment and your life is worth nothing unless you get the help you need. I have beaten you.
Click to expand...
..
 
I was abused by an older kid and the therapist thinks my mother sexualized me somehow but mostly I was like a girl and so they tried to have sex with me and I wanted to have sex so mostly it didn't seem like abuse to me.

That was one of the reasons it took me so long to "remember." The boys beat me up mostly, misinterpreting the cues.
 
I write with tears in my eyes. My perp (just like every other perp) had me do unspeakable acts. My T asked if I knew much about his past, I said no. I knew he was married (she worked days, he worked 4 - midnight) with two teenage kids. After beginning therapy, and as the memories began to surface as time went on, at first I wanted to set him on fire (the perp not my T), I wanted to tie him behind my truck and drag his ass down a long dark road and leave him. I wanted to, and did in my T's office, yell at him. As that began to subside, I saw him as one sick individual. Not a sick man - he wasn't a man - and really disturbed thinking that I was attractive in my shorts and suspenders with my Tonka truck. I know he made some truly bad choices that he will have to live with all of his days - if he's not gone by now (I'm 66). If he's gone, I hope he made some attempt at getting help. My Y even asked that if he did ask forgiveness of God and truly turned his life around, what would I do if I saw him in heaven? I had to go home and consider a response to that. I said that I'm not God - I don't get to decide who is forgiven and who isn't. Who really meant it and who didn't. If he meant it and is there, then what went before won't matter any longer. We aren't earthly any longer we're in a place of peace and forgiveness and that's how it works.
 
jas4159 said:
“For all you abusers out there we are so much better than you could ever hope to be. While the fires of hell consume your soul, I will watch in sadness for all that is lost and for all that could have been had you got the help you need. For the pain you have caused and lives you have cost. And yes I will feel sad for you too. God didn't make evil souls and you chose the path that we victims didn't. You may have been abused or not. You may be evil or not. But it is certain you will live your life in emotional torment and your life is worth nothing unless you get the help you need. I have beaten you.
Click to expand...
.
 
jas4159 said:
“For all you abusers out there we are so much better than you could ever hope to be. While the fires of hell consume your soul, I will watch in sadness for all that is lost and for all that could have been had you got the help you need. For the pain you have caused and lives you have cost. And yes I will feel sad for you too. God didn't make evil souls and you chose the path that we victims didn't. You may have been abused or not. You may be evil or not. But it is certain you will live your life in emotional torment and your life is worth nothing unless you get the help you need. I have beaten you.
Click to expand...
Well said--so true. Sadly many in the medical profession believe there is no cure for pedophilia--but therapy can help to contain urges and acting on the urges.

We did not choose to be abused, we live with the damage that was done. Thank you for your insightful words.

Kevin
 
I've been spoon fed ideas of heaven and hell since i was a small child.

i will never understand this life. i can not understand afterlife. i don't know what to think or how to feel.

life has been hard. i can't imagine suffering for an eternity as i was told as a child. nor can i imagine worship for an eternity.

i like to hope after everything in life i can just rest and not feel or be scared anymore.

I'm not suicidal. just scared of life. i know the world doesn't change or disappear when we die. there is always more we can do for others.

once upon a time. i really loved and trusted the people who hurt me the most.

even the strangers who raped me, i never knew how to feel that one was beat in the head and left handicap. i just dont know..
 
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