My introduction

My introduction

Cjacobsen

Registrant
My name is Chuck.
I’m excited about being in this group and the help I can receive. I’m always a little apprehensive or scared when it comes to sharing my story. I will do the best I can.

I feel I have to start from the beginning for kinda just fits together. as a child, I had a speech impediment. at the time the school system didn’t really know what to do with my speech problem. The school system at the time decided to classify me as a special-needs child.. which of course meant that I had to attend another school from everyone else in the neighborhood. Which just created a lot of name-calling from my friends in the neighborhood..
My nickname became Chucky the retard. That was the name that I heard an all through my school years. Because of my speech impediment and the name-calling, I just learned to shut my mouth and became extremely quiet.. I also developed an extremely negative attitude toward myself always thought of myself as kind of a mistake..

However, I did have a friend that was older than I in my neighborhood that really didn’t call me names. We had a lot of fun together, but I remember one time after playing in the backyard. He wanted to take me over to his house, which is just a block away. Just to show me a fort he built that I could play in anytime I wanted. I had to be around eight or nine at that time.. in the upstairs, garage attic is where I was sexually abused. Several months after that first time in the attic, he approached me again. This time it was at his job at the corner gas station where he worked. And that corner gas station was right across the street from where I live. I can’t tell you how many times he molested me and rape me at the corner gas station. The abuse lasted all through my school years and into high school.. I remember he tried to approach me once in high school. I don’t know why, but I pushed him away and I said no. That was the last time I’ve ever seen my abuser. Maybe he got scared and skipped town. I don’t know but by that time the damage is already done. I am now 63 years of age and I just started sharing my story about a year ago. I have found a good local therapist that I just recently started.. Thank you
 
Welcome @Cjacobsen
Sorry to hear about what you experienced growing up, but glad you've found your way here. As if being bullied & ridiculed for being different isn't enough. It is often times the isolation from that which leads to being an "easy" target. I hope you find the men here to be as supportive & caring as I have. Take your time & be kind kind to yourself.
 
Welcome, there are alot of really good guys here with good advice and help. I hope you find a few to connect with. I am glad you found this place but sorry you had too. Hope all goes well for you in your healing
 
Hey @Cjacobsen, Welcome

I'm glad you've found MS, but really sorry to read of your pre-teen and high school horrible experiences. It's good to note you've started to share your story and also started with a therapist to help you with the healing process. I can identify too well with the gas station experiences. May you find the camaraderie and the resources at MS helpful. Be kind to Chuck.
 
Welcome to MS. I'm sorry you too were raped as a child. Me too, at age 8, also now in my early 60's, and the memories of mine just returned a few years ago. MS can be helpful to find non-judgmental men to share what you are going through. I'm glad you have a good therapist.
 
Hello-I’m new here even though I’m 67 years old. My mother violated boundaries in all ways from and early age through my teenage years. No one knows this. I don’t know how I have survived, but I have. I feel deeply damaged but hope that finding the words for all that I have kept silent might help just a bit. Since I’m new here, are there chat forums or ways to connect via phone or email? There are ways I feel strong and other ways I feel irreparably ruined. I suppose I’m looking for a few men who I can connect with. Any advice is welcomed.
 
@Cjacobsen, @John B, you’ll find a lot of support here. There are a surprising number of men in their 50’s, 60’s and 70’s that are just dealing with this sh**, whether they remembered things recently or for their whole lives. I was 50 when my memories returned, but it wasn’t until just this year at 66 that I finally got a therapist that specializes in sexual trauma. Hearing about other survivors you’ll realize you aren’t alone, and you deserve to heal.
 
Cjacobsen and John B, just glad that you have come here. I'm in my 70's but only came face to face with my abuse starting last year. There is a lot of support, help and encouragement here to help with healing. And plenty of understanding from people who get it.
 
Welcome to Ms. I am sorry to hear of your abuse. I too was made fun of all the time as a kid. I am glad you are here and thankfully you have found a good therapist, that is so important. It is very difficult to heal with out help. As you know you are not alone here at MS- you have many brother survivors, and we understand and care. I truly wish you peace and healing. Take care.
 
CJacobsen, John B welcome to MS glad you guys found MS, I am Sawyer now in my 50s married with 3 children. My abuse happened from 11-12, by both a friend and his father. My own dads return into my life ended the abuse because we then moved far away.

I hope each of you find this place to be one of support and comfort.
 
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