My husband was just raped by two men!

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My husband was just raped by two men!

I have been through just about every emotion I've ever heard of and then some.

We will seek counselling but in the meantime, I can't function properly.

I am sad, angry and have a prescription for tranquilizers. He was missing for 12 hours and I thought he was dead.

I have my own trauma to deal with as well as trying to help him cope. He is still in shock and we have just started this new 'adventure'.

Will he ever be himself again? What if he got AIDS or another STD? What if he snaps one day and I really do lose him?

What do I do to stop crying? My heart is broken and there's nothing I can do about it.

My heart goes out to all victims and families and if anyone has any advice, please don't hesitate to respond.
 
At age 26 I was also attacked and raped by 3 men..I did not say a word to anyone not even my wife for 10 years..I was unable to function intamately and feared HIV ..I suffered from severe depression and thought constantly of suicide...It was not until my wife could not but up with it anymore(she never knew) and was about to file for divorce in January,, My life came completly apart than,with an attemted suicide...Thru therapy, anti depressents , and my therapist convincing me to tell my wife everthing, things are getting better..My therapist and wife went with me to get an Aids test, which when it turned out negative, was the happy moment I remember in over 10 years...
The rape of a male is very rarely reported to police and you feel like that being a male you should have been able to defend yourself..I questioned everything about myself and whether I was really a man or not...
Here is a link to my story when origanally found this site..
https://malesurvivor.org/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=000363

[ 08-14-2001: Message edited by: Mark I ]

[ 08-14-2001: Message edited by: Mark I ]
 
BRIAN MY NAME IS RANDY. THAT STORY WAS HARD TO READ AND IM SORRY U WERE ABUSED BY BOTH YOUR PARENT AND THE MAN. I WAS ABUSED BY MY MOM GROWING UP AND IT NOT EASY FOR ME TO TRUST WOMAN. I AM A GAY M,ALE SURVIVOR OF MALE RAPE. WHICH KIND OF FORCED ME TO START GETTING HELP . I AM STARTING TO GET HELP BUT I WAS A AFRAID TO BECAUSE I FELT THAT THIS SHOULD OF NEVER HAPPENED. IT TAKES TIME. AND THE LOVING SUPPORT OF MY LIFE LONG PARTNER ANDRE TO GET ME THROUGH THE TOUGH DAYS AHEAS. I FEEL UP WIRTH TEARS WRITIUNG THIOS BECUASE ITS TRUE TIME WILL HEAL BUT NOT ALL WOUNDS BECAUSE THE BITCH WILL NOT TAKE REAPOSIBLITY FOR WHGAT SHE DID. THATS WHY SEEKING HGELP IS SO IMPORTANT FROM OTHER SERVIVORS AND A THERPIST. I HOPE THAT WHEN U DO HEAL U WILL BE THIER FOR OTHER PEOPLE LIKE ME OR ANYONE ON THE WEBSITE
THANK U FOR LISTENING
AND GOD BLESS U THAQT IS THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME GOING
 
It happened to me too, they kept me for 4 or 5 days, thought they killed me but they didn't. I ended up in the hospital for a long time after.
Not sure how much I can talk about it or if I can help at all... but I'm here pretty much here everyday if you need to talk.

J
 
Hello torchwillow, If at all possible go with your husband, take him to the hospital so he can be thoroughly checked out. There are a lot of STD's that he needs to be checked for. This is not a option, there are some STD's that can kill, or cripple, or make him sterile, or you for that matter. Also, he may have been damaged internally, he needs to be checked for that. Tell your husband that we all are as proud of him (you also), as we can be. Do not let him cop out on the counselling, I feel that the sooner one can get into counselling the better. I say that from the view point of one who has never been to counselling, yes you can sort of survive with out counselling, but I think it would have been easier with it.
Somethings you can expect your husband to go through in the coming days.
Male Rape
A good book on Rape is Recovery by Helen Benedict, you will probably have to get a used copy. I read this book in 1992, what I like about the book is not only does it tell your husband what he is going through, but it tells you his loved one what to expect, and what to do for him. Also see if you can get him to sign up here, besides the counselling, he needs a place to talk about what happened to him.

About yourself,
I have my own trauma to deal with as well as trying to help him cope.
Click to expand...
I don't know if you are in counselling or not, but you will likely need to get some more. Also there is another web site Pandora\'s Aquarium that is mostly Ladies, around 3,000 or so. I think you would feel comfortable there talking about your trauma.

Take care,
Clifford
 
torchwillow,

I am so sorry to hear this has happened. Please try to deal with things step by step. The first will be the police reports and tests for STDs. Then your husband and you will both need counselling.

Just let the tears out; there's no point in trying to restrain them. Try to encourage your husband to express how he feels as well.

There's no doubt this will put you both through a lot of trauma, but hang in there, keep talking to each other, and don't be afraid to say how you feel. He can recover from this, and so can you.

Much love,
Larry
 
https://www.xris.com/survivor/msa/

There's some good information and links from here, and don't forget your need for support and help as well. If you want it here at MS then take it, we're here to do just that.

Dave
 
Guys...hate to be a party pooper, but torchlight's posting is 5 years old. (Aug. 13,2001) :)
 
Mmmmm, so much for observance :rolleyes: But I think the post was inadvertantly popped up by Randy. Maybe instead of starting a new thread, he posted what he thought was a new topic while reading some old stuff.

ROCK ON.......Trish
 
Good catch, but the info is all good.

Take care,
Clifford
 
Nobby,

Wow!!! Great call. :) But perhaps good for torchwillow if she ever returns.

Much love,
Larry
 
Ahhhhhh................

That will teach me to pay attention :rolleyes:

Dave
 
yeah, nearly caught me out as well! jeez. we're an observant bunch arent' we? :rolleyes:

John
 
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